Never Change
by AConstanceC
Summary: AU Drabble (now continued into a story) about our favourite genius and his not so known cute little family.
1. Chapter 1: Family

As always, I don't own anything. All mistakes my own

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He didn't lie, not really, he just...never mentioned it.

And to be honest, it's really their own fault that they didn't notice; that they just thought he was a lonely, nerdy weirdo who didn't know how to stop the five minute long tangents he went on.

'The Reid Effect' was hysterical to him, yes he wasn't good with newborns but who can blame him? After all there is a difference between raising a baby and starting from when they were, at youngest, one.

You see, Dr. Spencer Reid was a father. Not through biology but through love (and the power of adoption).

That's all that really mattered to him though. Love.

He had six amazing children and more pets than a pet shop...and he wouldn't change a single thing.

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If people want it I do have some ideas about how I can extend this, just let me know :) :)


	2. Chapter 2: Autumn 1999

**Thank you for all the reviews and follows :)** **. As promised I have continued the story and will try to update every 2 weeks or so (I do have exams coming up so please be patient with me). Also know that writing the first part of this was ridiculous so I apologise.**

 **We start at the beginning, from the meeting and adoption of his first child and we will be moving through the years and through the seasons, focusing on the major and some minor events which take place not only in his life but also the show. Some stuff here is probably not exact but I will try to be as accurate as I can and will explain some of my reasoning for my decisions at the end of the chapter. I am also aiming to try and keep as close to the show as I can...whilst also somehow making up 6 kids...**

 **If you spot any mistakes please let me know.**

 **Thank you and enjoy.**

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Spencer Reid – Age 18  
Athena Reid – Age 1

Location – Nevada

 _Las Vegas Review-Journal_

 ** _A family of three now of o_** ** _ne_**

 _On the morning of August 5_ _th_ _Cindy and Ryan West, who moved to Las Vegas 5 years ago from London, England, and their one year old daughter were involved in a horrific car accident on West Charleston Boulevard. The accident, which occurred at approximately 5AM, involved four cars and 12 people. 8 of the 12 injured were in the vehicles involved with Cindy and Ryan being the only casualties. Others involved in the accident were rushed to hospital and have been reported to be doing well._

 _An exact cause of this accident has not yet been determined and is being investigated. The future of Cindy and Ryan's daughter has not yet been confirmed, but in all probability she will be placed up for adoption due to the absence of any other family._

 _If you have any information please contact your local LVPD._

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That was it, it was over. No more worrying about her episodes. No more calls to make sure she took her medication. No more...stress. He hated himself for thinking it. What kind of son is glad to have his mother committed to a sanitarian?

"No! I had to do it" he ended up saying to himself, well shouting to himself.

It was useless though, he felt like he had betrayed her. But there was no use in beating himself up; Spencer learned that the hard way. All he could do was try and somehow make it up to her. Somehow being the key word.

So lost in his thoughts he didn't even notice a letter being delivered until he saw the mystery deliverer nod at him from the other side of the street. Retrieving the thick brown envelop from the base of the door he knew immediately what it was, who it was from. It was an arrangement he had with one of the police officers that lived nearby. A few years ago Spencer, as always, managed to find himself in trouble. This time though an off duty cop stepped in before things got too serious and after learning how smart he was they made a deal that whenever a suspicious or particularly difficult case came across the precinct he would send the information to Spencer. It reminded him of being a private detective, even though this was a bit more illegal. He loved it though and it meant that he could help people, even if in only a small way.

Grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting at the kitchen table Dr. Spencer Reid got to work on the suspicious circumstances that lead to the death of a husband and wife which left their one year old daughter orphaned.

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Less than a week after the accident Spencer walked into the police station and requested to speak to the lead detective on the case. Taking a seat on the bright orange plastic chairs, which had no right to be in a police station waiting room, he took a closer note of his surrounds.

The first thing he noticed was the middle aged woman who was just coming in through the door, a poorly hidden, disappointed, but slightly disbelieving look on her face. In his mind that could only mean one thing, she had come to bail someone out; more than likely it was a son or daughter. Statistically speaking it would be a son but the look on her face showed slight disbelief so either he was a first time offender or, more likely, it was a daughter who had never been in trouble before. Cautious of his staring he averted his eyes but kept her in his periphery to see if he was right.

With nothing better to do he moved on to the walls. They were recently painted, given the chemical smell lingering in the air, and had posters plastered all over them. Each corner of the room was also inhabited by various tables, fake plants and pamphlets. Altogether it reminded him of a dentist's office trying to cheer up its patients but doing a terrible job of it.

He'd been sat there for exactly 32 minutes and 36 seconds, had his theory about the daughter confirmed and had read the posters on the walls three times over when the man he came to see finally stepped out of his office and made his way over to him.

As he came closer Spencer could see he walked with a slight limp, probably from his earlier days when he was out in the field more often. So distracted on the detectives profile he almost missed the detective introducing himself "Hi, sorry to keep you waiting. Spencer Reid? I'm Detective Davidson. I was told you had some information involving the car accident last Thursday on Charleston Boulevard?"

Ignoring his hand and instead giving a little wave he nervously replied "Er...Hi. Yes I'm Doctor Reid. I know what caused the accident."

Surprise lit the detectives face. Well first it was confusion after Spencer ignored his handshake, then disbelief at his mention of _Doctor Reid_ and after that was surprise when he said he knew what had happened.

"Why don't we talk in my office?"

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Pulling out crime scene photos Spencer barely gave the detective time to shut the door and sit down before he was explaining his theory.

"The driver, of the silver car, he's the one responsible. You see the position of the silver car? From it, and the lack of skid marks, you can see that it deliberately ran a stop sign intending to hit this van. This van had the true target in. The West's car was...it was at the wrong place...at the wrong time. You can tell from the angle of impact. They never should have died..."

Trailing off Spencer risked looking up at the detective. Of all things he was expecting, understanding was not one of them. Usually when he came to talk to people about these cases they didn't believe him at first or were confused as to how he got his hands on sensitive information and sometimes angry at his rambling, but Detective Davidson just looked at him as if he was expecting this...

They both sat in silence. 53 seconds. That's how long it took for the detective to reply, to break the uncomfortable quiet that hung over the two.

"I know who you are now. Before, when I was told someone wanted to see me I wasn't quite sure...but now...well, now I know who you are. A friend of mine, a few years ago told me of this kid who was smart, who could solve cases he couldn't. You're that kid."

It wasn't a question, it didn't need an answer but the surprise left Spencer's brain a little fried and so he answered anyway. The "Yes Sir" which came from him was just a whisper but caused the detective to smile kindly. As he was about to ask this friends name the door to the office opened and in came an elderly woman carrying a little girl, no more than one year old. Immediately as the woman came to a stop he could see the bruises and cuts all over her and suddenly it clicked. It was the girl from the crash. The one who's parents where at the wrong place at the wrong time. The orphaned child of the victims whose murder he had solved.

Far quicker than a woman of her age should be able to move she turned to him "Sorry could you hold her for a second?"

"Errr..."

"Thanks."

Well that's not what he was expecting. First of all, this woman has no idea who he is and second of all: kids _hated_ him. Pets too apparently. But somehow this girl, this child, looked at him with bright blue eyes and reached out towards him with no fear at all. Careful of her injuries he let her grab his finger and a smile he couldn't help made its way to his face. In that moment he couldn't help but think she was going to grow up into an amazing woman.

"What's her name?" he found himself asking, unknowingly interrupting the detective and the woman's conversation.

A pause. A smile. A name. "Athena."

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 **So that's the first chapter guys** **J** **. Hope you liked it. The next will be about actually adopting her.**

 **Now for some explanation. First of all, I am British and US laws concerning anything confuse me please don't hesitate to say if anything is wrong.**

 **Las Vegas Review-Journal is apparently a newspaper in Las Vegas, I have no idea if they would report a car accident but I assumed they would. The road on which the crash occurred is also real but because we don't know exactly where Spencer lived I tried to pick somewhere central so that he would have maximum chance of seeing it.**

 **Ok, now, the reason at this point I think he's in Nevada is that at 18 he has his mother committed so I'm assuming at this point in the chapter he has already had her committed and is living in the house. Also, at the moment he has his first PhD but has not started on his second yet.**

 **In Nevada, it is legal to adopt a child as long as you are an adult (which in Nevada is 18) and are at least 10 years older than them. After adopting Athena he moves and goes on to get his second PhD at Caltech (in Engineering). California has the same adoption requirements as Nevada so even if he is living here instead of Nevada he will still be allowed to adopt her and/or keep her.**

 **I also made the decision of calling him Spencer not Reid as a lot of people do, I feel like right now and especially with his kids calling by his last name would be a bit weird. When I eventually include the team it will also make it easier to tell from whose perspective we are looking from.**

 **Don't forget to follow and review :) :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Winter 19992000

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, favs and follows! :) :)  
Here is the next chapter where Spencer actually starts the process of adopting Athena, truthfully I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. At first it seemed long but now it seems a little rushed but hey just let me know what you think..., there will also be a ****flashback marked in italics** **. I also realised I messed up his age last chapter so I fixed that. Again, my reasoning and answering some questions which came up will be at the end. Enjoy. :)**

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Spencer Reid – Age 18  
Athena Reid – Age 1

Location – Nevada

He must be insane. Why did he decide to do this? He hasn't even known her for more than an hour and yet here he is, not even two weeks later, looking at the paperwork to adopt her.

He's not even remotely prepared for this in any way. He may as well give up now while there's still time. It would definitely save him from the copious amounts of paperwork he'd been given. Most of it was no doubt unnecessary given the look he received at the adoption agency from the man who then started smirking when Spencer left. But he promised. Well that's not actually true, he never said anything about adopting Athena. Instead, he made an oath to save her, from what he wasn't sure.

Once again sitting at the kitchen table Spencer threw away thoughts of worry and failure and got to work on the stack of documents.

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There was no way everything went this well this fast without someone pulling strings. Adoptions didn't take 2 months and let's not even mention the fact he would be a single father, under the age of 20, with no stable job. But who could have helped him? Spencer could only think of three people with the power and compassion to make this happen.

Mr. Harrison, the neighbour who was the cop, was of course the first person Spencer thought of. He had known Spencer the longest and his position in the police force would give him the power to push through the adoption. If it came to it, he himself would also be able to put in a good word on his behalf. But how would he know he wanted to adopt Athena? Yes he gave him the case which led Spencer to her in the first place but usually he doesn't keep up with the investigation; there's no point when he's not even on the case. He collects the information and hands it over to Spencer and leaves him alone, that's it. He might check up on the odd case from time to time if it seems particularly difficult or gruesome but if he did anything else Spencer didn't know about it.

The next choice would have to be Detective Davidson. As the lead detective on the case and being a friend of Athena's social worker he had sway over the whole thing. Not to mention the fact he had the highest case closed rate in the surrounding area which presumably gave him a few favours he could cash in on. There is also the fact that with Spencer's theory being the only lead on the case, the detective had allowed him to have a small part in the investigation. This of course had allowed the detective to get to know him rather well.

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 _"You were right." the detective announced from the doorway to his office. "I talked to some experts and they confirmed your theory about the van being the target of the attack."_

 _"Great...erm good I guess I'll just be off then..."_

 _Before Spencer could even think about leaving, the detective had already decided he was going to get the boy something to eat and had stopped him from getting up. He was far too thin, probably because of the amount of coffee he drank; in the last hour alone Davidson had seen him drink four cups. Fifteen minutes and a lot of ignored protesting later the two were sat at a fairly empty local diner with a couple of burgers and fries._

 _As usual Spencer was quite, he didn't want to be here and would much rather be at home with a book...or ten. He did silently admit to himself it was nice to be out and have a decent lunch to eat. If he was at home he would more than likely be too absorbed in his work and would forget to eat. At some point during the meal Spencer's silent monologue became a little less silent and he found himself talking out loud to the detective. Unlike most people Davidson seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say, he was asking questions and even sharing a little about himself in return. A couple hours of non-stop chatting passed before the detective was called back to the station and the two parted ways. Before leaving Davidson had turned to Spencer._

 _"If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to contact me. It was nice to meet you Dr. Reid." And then he was gone, not even giving Spencer a chance to reply._

 _Over the next week Davidson, or Mark as it turned out, and Spencer had become somewhat of friends. Truth be told it wasn't exactly that...Mark was more like the father Spencer never had the chance to have and in turn, Spencer was like the son Davidson wished he had._

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Snapping out of the past Spencer thought about the third and final person who could have pushed the adoption though. Mrs Arnold.

Spencer didn't have a solid theory about her but the day he had been handed Athena he had felt her eyes on him the whole time. Obviously this was normal, she was only looking out for the child in her care, but when he dared look up at her he noticed that she had a loving smile on her face. It was almost as if she knew that he had promised to look out for her and that he was going to adopted her. Back then he hadn't thought much about it, but the smile she gave Spencer as he held Athena was one you gave to happy families and looking back now he didn't know how he had missed it.

Despite how unprepared he was in the beginning, in the last few weeks he had managed to pull himself together and set up most of the things he would need for a one year old. He moved into his mum's room and set up his old room for her, luckily the rooms were right next to each other so he could be close. Some clothes and toys were bought for her, the rest he would let her choose and a lot she would bring with her from her old home. Cupboards and shelves were stocked. He didn't have a car so he didn't need to get a car seat and the whole house had been childproofed. All-in-all he was ready and couldn't wait for her to arrive.

At exactly 14:34 a car pulled up to the house and out walked Mrs. Arnold and Athena. All that was left to do was the signing of some final documents, the unpacking of Athena's things and the settling in. As the door closed and Mrs. Arnold's car pulled away Spencer could only think of one thing as he watched Athena play with her toys on the living room floor...

She was his little girl.

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 **Ok so first: I was asked about Spencer having a girlfriend, as I want to stick as close to the show as I can there won't be any long time relationships otherwise the whole JJ date, Lila, Austin...etc... doesn't work. When we eventually pass the show I may change my mind but for now there might be an occasional relationship but nothing serious. Sorry. :(**

 **Now, looking at Spencer's timeline, when he got his next two PhDs isn't too clear so I'm assuming that he starts back at Caltech in Sep 2000 after taking a year out of education to look after Athena who he adopts sometime in November. He gets his Engineering PhD in 2001 then he moves to Massachusetts (yes I know this was a mistake in the show but I think I can explain it in a way that works) for Sep 2001 to get his 3rd PhD in 2002 which is where he meets Gideon and starts the FBI Academy that year. I am aware that PhDs take years to get but let's face it Spencer either somehow managed to do all the work in a really sort time or did a lot of it years before (If that's even possible) which is why it only takes a year to get it. Again, if you know anything let me know so I can alter it.**

 **I didn't plan on the whole father figure; it just came out and seemed to fit. I assumed the car thing and I apologise but I refuse to spell the word mum with an 'o' – I already made an exception to the whole burger and fries thing (they are chips people! ;P). Athena had her own room at this point for a few reasons. 1.) She might not want to share with him because even though she doesn't understand it, her parents are gone and it could be weird for her? 2.) It seemed like the logical thing to do as he is a first time single father and 3.) She is one and at this point she should have regular sleep patterns and it's suggested that 6 months is the transition point to their own rooms. I also assumed that she had a lot of her own stuff with her due to the fact her parents only died a couple months ago and so it wouldn't have been sold or put in storage yet.**

 **Also, last thing, did anyone spot my tag to Diana in The Fisher King?**

 **As always please review, fav, follow. See you next time. :D :D**


	4. Chapter 4: Spring - Autumn 2000

**Hi again! I loved reading your reviews so thank you! :) To answer few question and queries..."who is going to look after the kids when Spencer is called away on a case?" I do know the answer to this question but it's not a problem at the moment and I don't want to spoil it for you guys when we come to it...I guess you'll just have to wait and see! Also, eventually, at individual points team members** **will** **find out about the kids so it's not as if they will be a secret forever, again you'll just have to wait and see! :D**

 **Now that that's over with on with the story!**

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Spencer Reid – Age 18/19  
Athena Reid – Age 1/2

Location – Nevada moving to California

One year. That's how long he and Athena had lived together; and it was the best year of his life. She was amazing and despite the tragedy in her life she was as happy as any other child. Yes there were ups and downs, moments where he could have just given up, times when he thought he wasn't good enough to look after her... but he stuck with it and he couldn't be happier.

The first few months were the hardest. Athena's injuries were slowly healing and she was in less pain but lack of sleep meant that it had taken longer than expected. Almost every night Athena had nightmares and woke up screaming and crying. Sometimes she would wake up four or five times and be unable to fall back asleep. The intensity of the nightmares made Spencer glad he had decided to stay in Vegas. It gave them privacy and nobody was disturbed in the middle of the night. Every time he was woken by her cries he rushed to her to calm her down; all the while hoping that the images of her parents dying would fade from her memory soon.

Spencer didn't want to keep the identity of her parents from her, although in time she would end up forgetting them. He didn't have a reason for his decision but knew it was the right thing to do. One day, when she was old enough, he would tell her everything. But for now, he wished that she didn't have to go through the pain of their deaths every night. The one blessing in all this was that she wasn't alone and that they had each other.

As more time passed, the nightmares started to fade and he and Athena were sleeping through the night. Some days the nightmares returned, but with significantly less strength than before. Mornings after these nights were spent with Athena not letting him leave her side. Almost always they ended up cuddling on the sofa eating breakfast and watching some cartoon. In a way the nightmares had brought them closer together, more so than the months she had lived with him

The first time she called him 'Dada' Spencer cried for two hours out of pure joy. It wasn't her first word, for some reason that had been 'floor' and it had been a week after she had come to live with him. As random as it was Spencer treasured it, after going through such a traumatic experience he wasn't expecting her to start speaking so soon. After that first word she had gone silent for a few weeks before trying other words like 'hat', 'book' and 'bye'. When she called him 'Dada' though it was like the world froze. He dropped what he was doing, grabbed her for a hug and broke down, sobbing onto her shoulder. Admittedly he didn't mean to break down and scare her the way he did but he couldn't regret it, he was too happy to even think straight.

Joy from being called 'Dada' faded rather quickly after those two hours of happiness. He couldn't help but wonder if her first word was something else; something that she had said to her parents. It would have made sense, the average age of a child's first word is 12 months and he had met her a couple of months after that. For all he knew she could have called her real parents 'Dada' and 'Mama' long before she had called it him.

After that revelation Spencer, for the first time, lost the smiles and happy eyes he had from being a father. Instead he felt like a replacement, something cheap and dirty, someone that Athena wouldn't love and who would never be family. Spencer ended up letting his thoughts take control, making him spiral into depression. Almost immediately Athena noticed this and in her own little way she started healing him. Slowly dragging him from the dark place he was headed.

During the nightmares and the first words Athena had also graduated from crawling, to a few small steps and finally to walking. At points he still worried that she was going to fall and hurt herself but every time she fell she got straight back up. Spencer had never been more grateful of the thick carpeted floors than in those brief moments of panic.

By the time her 2nd birthday came around the joy from being a father was back. A party was held for her by a few of his neighbours, some of which had children Athena's age. The whole day was filled with squeals of happiness that only a 2 year old could produce. Through the happy day's one thing sat in the back of Spencer's mind, it wasn't a bad thing but it was always with him. For months he had ignored it but now it was time to do something about it.

As much as he loved being with Athena in Vegas, Spencer was bored. He kept up with the case work but it wasn't enough anymore. There were too many hours in the day and not enough things to do to occupy his genius mind.

He made up his mind in June, a few days after Athena's birthday. This year he was going to go back to Caltech to get his next PhD, this time in engineering.

Over the next couple of months he made arrangements to move out of Vegas and onto the campus. There was no way he was going to leave Athena in Vegas and make the trip to University every day. Moving to California was the smart choice and it meant that he wouldn't have to pay a fortune for an all day babysitter. Instead, he could do most of his work at home and would only need a babysitter a few hours a week.

When the day came to move Spencer realised how many friends he actually had in Vegas. He had expected to load all of their stuff into the van by himself but by lunchtime everything was packed and he hadn't picked up a single box.

Saying goodbye also went a bit differently than he had expected. Mrs Arnold, who had stayed in contact with them, had spent the past week cooking and had given the two almost a month's worth of frozen meals. Detective Davidson had also stopped by and given gifts of books for him and toys for Athena. He also made Spencer promise to keep in touch and asked if he could call once in a while if he needed help with a case. Finally there was the present from Mr. Harrison; 2 leather satchels.

"For all that paperwork you're going to have; and for all the paperwork she's going to have when she gets older." He explained with a smirk.

With final hugs and waves the family of two left Vegas behind.

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 **Ok guys that it! (I'm sorry I couldn't resist with the satchel :D) The ending kinda annoys me but I couldn't think of a better way to end it :( This chapter is just really a recap of the year seen as nothing particularly interesting happens. The next year will be split into two chapters and we go more in depth of Spencer and Athena's lives.**

 **Also know that I have exams coming up, I'll try to stick to posting every two weeks but be warned the next chapter might be a bit late.**

 **Don't forget to follow and review! :)**

 **See you next chapter! :) :)**


	5. Chapter 5: Autumn - Winter 20002001

**Hi! Me again! Again thank you for the reviews I love reading them :), even if it's just a quick 'Can't wait for the next chapter' I really do appreciate it, and thank you to my followers for...well...following :P.**

 **So sorry for this being slightly late I had 2 weeks' worth of exams then I moved back home for the summer...but on the plus side it is one of my longer chapters, even if only slightly so.**

 **Anyway...so here we are with Spencer and Athena arriving at Caltech and the first few months there. Let me know in the comments if you spot anything wrong or weird or whatever.**

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Spencer Reid – Age 18/19  
Athena Reid – Age 2

Location – California

The trip to California had taken a little over four hours and for the most part it was uneventful. Athena had had a nightmare the night before and so had slept the whole way there, thankfully in peace. There were a few moments where a nightmare threatened to wake her but these were dealt with by Spencer telling her stories. Due to her sleeping the whole way they hadn't needed to make many stops and the trip had taken less time than expected. By the time they arrived it was late afternoon and Spencer estimated that they had about enough time to unpack and settle in before sunset.

The apartment itself was pretty standard, it wasn't university accommodation but instead private housing aimed at students. It was easier this way and gave Spencer more options to pick from which were better suited for him and Athena. In the end, he had chosen a 1 bathroom, 2 bedroom, 2nd floor apartment within a 30 minute walk from the university. The apartment also had a medium sized kitchen and large living room that Athena could play in.

As it was already partly furnished, Spencer only had to bring the essentials and had left the rest back home. Keeping the house back in Vegas would cost him a lot of money in the long run but he couldn't let it go yet. He had toyed with the idea of putting everything in storage but decided against it as it would take weeks to do and cost more than keeping the house. Spencer knew that he would have to give it up someday, like when he got a stable job, but for now everything was left as it was.

As it always is, for him at least, unpacking was a lot easier than packing. Cutlery, pots and pans were put in cupboards, food was also put away and a quick trip to the shop would fill the fridge. Despite what people thought Spencer was a decent cook; he had to be due to him looking after his mother from such a young age. By no means was he chef status, but he did know how to cook better than most people his age.

One reason Spencer chose this place was the fact that it was family friendly. Statistically he knew that some of his neighbours would be couples and/or have kids but he didn't find out until they moved in that they _all_ had kids. There were quite of few of the children Athena's age and he was silently thankful that there were so many. Back home she didn't have many friends, even before he had adopted her, and he worried about the damage that could do to her later in life. He knew what it was like to grow up an outsider, being unable to form connections with people and he didn't want that to happen to her.

Finding a babysitter for when he had to go to lectures and meetings was interesting. As it turns out Athena was 'quite difficult to deal with' according to Jenny, the first babysitter, who was immediately fired for her attitude. After that, Jenny had told all her friends about the incident and no one wanted to babysit Athena. It took two weeks for Spencer to finally find Ashley.

Ashley was a second year Economics student who had been cut off by her parents and so was working three jobs to cover her expenses. By some small miracle her timetable fitted around Spencer's perfectly. This resulted in Athena never being left alone and no one missing anything important. If anything did come up then Spencer's neighbours were more than happy to help if they could and in return he would do the same for them. One problem that came up was that Ashley had never babysat for long periods of time before. As it turns out this wasn't a problem at all, Athena loved her and the house was still intact when he came home. He took the whole thing as a win and ended up taking on Ashley as Athena's babysitter for rest of the year.

* * *

Halloween 2000 would be one to remember.

Spencer loved Halloween, always had, it was the only time you could be someone else, anyone else and it would be acceptable. It was also the only time in his life where his mother's illness and his father leaving didn't weigh down on him. He could pretend that it wasn't real and for one day he could be a normal kid. As he got older and started looking into the history of Halloween he fell in love with the day even more and always made sure to celebrate it.

As it turns out, Athena also loved the holiday, although he suspected it was more for the candy and dressing up. Despite what the other parents thought he had actually let her pick her own outfit and it wasn't her pointing to the first thing she saw either. In the end she had picked a black and blue bat. The body of the costume was a black onesie with a hood and the wings were attached to the arms and the side of the body. Her wings were black on the outside and royal blue on the inside, every time she flapped her arms you saw flashes of the vibrant colour. Finally, the ears on the hood were also black on the outside and blue on the inside. With her blue socks and blue bows in her hair she looked adorable and it was definitely a picture worthy moment. One that he was sure she might regret when she got older.

On Halloween night Spencer and Athena had met up with a couple of their neighbours and went trick or treating down the road. The family friendly neighbourhood meant that at the end of the night they had all come home with a weeks' worth of sweets. Most of which Spencer hid because there was no way he was going to deal with a kid who had eaten that much sugar – not again, he learned his lesson the first time. The phrase _'do as I say, not as I do'_ seemed fitting to the situation.

By the time Thanksgiving came around, despite having so much fun at Halloween, the two were a little reluctant to celebrate. Spencer had never celebrated the holiday after his father had left. His mother would forget and Spencer didn't see the point, it would only have put more stress on him to try and do something special. Spencer also knew for a fact that the West family did not celebrate it either. Despite moving to America they still kept most of their British roots alive. They were always telling neighbours about their old lives and their traditions. No one knew why the West family moved. Spencer had tried to find out if they had any living relatives in England but no one he talked to knew anything. All they said was that 'they were British to their core and you could tell that from a mile away'. In the back of his mind he found that strange but they could have had a reasonable explanation, one that unfortunately would never be known. With nothing better to do all the two did was sit on the sofa and watch back-to-back Disney films. One day, if Spencer's little family ever got bigger, the idea of thanksgiving would be more exciting.

Despite not celebrating Thanksgiving, Christmas was another matter. As soon as you walked into the Reid apartment there wasn't a single place that wasn't decorated for the holiday. Many had commented that it was like Halloween part two only less black and orange and more red and green. Spencer had even managed to find a small tree to decorate which was placed on a table in the corner of the living room. Spencer himself wasn't that excited about the lights and the decoration, again it was a holiday that wasn't celebrated when he was younger. But after seeing Athena's amazement at the whole thing it was more than enough to get him into the holiday spirit.

On the night before Christmas, Spencer had let Athena stay up a little longer. He had read Christmas stories to her until she had fallen asleep and had followed soon after. In the morning he was smiling like an idiot over his coffee at her squeals of joy upon seeing her presents.

Halloween may be his favourite holiday, but Christmas was catching up.

* * *

 **Ok I'm not going to lie. I made up the apartment thing, well not so much made up as based it off my own knowledge because I couldn't find much info on it. I assumed they worked similar and well if they don't – my bad.**

 **Holidays in America are a little different than in England so if anyone who is actually American can drop me a review on how I did it would be extremely helpful for future chapters when the Reid family gets a little bigger and more involved with it all.**

 **Again let me know what you think or if you have any questions. Thank you and see you next time! :) :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Spring - Autumn 2001

**Hi everyone! First of all THANK YOU to my reviewers, especially for the info on all the holiday stuff, it will be extremely helpful in later chapters so again thank you! :) =) If you could just double check this chapter as well I would be forever grateful and I promise to never ask you again (probably) ;).**

 **I was asked about Spencer and friends and relationships and all that jazz, all I'm going to say is; maybe in the next few chapters there might be a surprise...or something...yeah I don't know what that was but yes it will happen in the next 3? chapters or so, so keep a look out.**

 **Oh and feel free to just ask random questions and give ideas and stuff, it doesn't bother me and helps out when I get brain freeze.**

 **Anywho, on with the chapter!**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 19  
Athena Reid – Age 2/3

Location – California

Every year Spencer tried to stay awake to witness the New Year; it was a tradition for him, one that his mother had told him about. This year, this particular tradition wasn't going to be possible.

After Christmas Athena's nightmares returned, this time more violent than they had been in months. For the rest of the year neither of them had slept all the way through the night. Usually Spencer both loved and hated holidays. He loved them as he got to spent time with his daughter and hated them because he always got bored. This time though he didn't know what to think, he was just glad he didn't have any work to do and so could focus on Athena.

Another reason to be thankful for the holiday was that with nothing to do the lack of sleep wasn't too problematic. Both of the Reid's weren't getting enough sleep. Spencer could see himself falling asleep at his desk if he tried to do anything too complicated– even with a mountain of coffee. If they were lucky Athena would only wake once during the night, usually around 1AM, before settling back down until the morning. Most nights though, she would wake up four or five times during the course of a few hours. On these nights she would end up giving up sleep entirely around 5AM, almost 3 hours before their usual wake up time. The broken sleep meant that Spencer had only gotten a couple hours of rest and wasn't prepared to do anything even resembling work. Only twice had the nightmares been bad enough that she had slept next to him in his room. Things always seemed better on these nights but nowhere near perfect.

Mornings were now quiet due to being sleep deprived and Athena in general was less happy. Spencer tried everything he could think of to get her to laugh again. It was killing him to see her go through this pain for the second time. But he knew that the only thing that could make this better was time.

When it came to New Years Eve both of them were completely exhausted and staying up until midnight would be an almost impossible challenge. In the end Spencer had fallen asleep on the sofa by 10PM with Athena finally sleeping soundly on his chest. That night, for the first time in days, they both slept peacefully until the morning.

Things started to get better after that, Athena still woke sometimes during the night but managed to get herself back to sleep. By the time lectures started again everything was back to how it was before Christmas. Spencer still had no idea what triggered the nightmares but for the sake of his daughters happiness, and his own sanity, he hoped it never came up again.

The arrival of 2001 also brought up the matter of finances. Money wise they were fine, but Spencer still worried. With paying for his mothers care on top of all his expenses he worried that if something ever came up he would have problems affording it all. So, to make a little money (for emergencies) he started tutoring students as well of as other little jobs.

When possible he tried to stay home, he didn't want to leave Athena and with all the odd jobs he was seeing her less and less. Plus leaving her with Ashley defeated the purpose of the extra income because he had to pay Ashley for the extra time anyway. That's how he ended up at 1AM emailing some Mathematics student about his work whilst trying to finish his own assignment all the while staying as silent as possible so that Athena wasn't woken up.

* * *

When Easter came Spencer and Athena were equally excited and he had even planned an Easter Egg hunt for her.

On Sunday morning, Spencer had woken early so that he could hide Easter Eggs all around the apartment. Once he had finished he went about waking Athena up and having breakfast. As it was Easter Sunday the local church was holding a service and the two had agreed to go to with their neighbours. When they got back he let Athena loose in the apartment, telling her that there were six hidden eggs and that he would give her clues as to where they were. After 3 hours of running around, 4 clues and a lunch break all six eggs had been found. For the rest of the day Athena sat playing on the living room floor with the new bunny he had gotten her whilst eating her eggs. Spencer couldn't help taking a photo of the moment when he saw the mess she had made.

Much like her 2nd birthday, the neighbours threw a surprise 3rd birthday party and all the kids in the building were invited. Unlike her 2nd birthday, there were almost twice as many people there, it was quite terrifying if Spencer was honest. While the kids had warmed up to him in the months they had lived in California he was still worried about saying or doing the wrong thing; after all people didn't call it The Reid Effect for nothing.

Despite this he had to smile at Athena. She was wearing a tiara, a blue dress and sparkly shoes whilst playing with two of her friends. It was a bittersweet smile though, for a bittersweet moment. In a few weeks they were set to move again, this time all the way to Massachusetts, and it was likely she never see her friends again. Spencer hoped that she wouldn't be too lonely for long though. His plan was that after MIT he would find a job and stick to it. Not moving anywhere for a while – to give Athena the life, and the friends, that she deserved.

Fourth of July, aka Independence Day, for what seemed like the first time since adopting her nothing was wrong. Knock on wood. There were no injuries, no nightmares, no upsetting thoughts...only peace.

Determined to have a good time and celebrate the holiday the two did as much as they could. It was also the last holiday they would celebrate in California and they wanted to make it special. Spencer had even bought his camera along to document the whole thing. 'Doing as much as they could' somehow ended up consisting of a trip to the fair, a picnic for lunch, BBQ for dinner **and** a firework display before bedtime. To say the two were exhausted was a complete understatement. Despite the amount of sugar each had consumed from far too many fair foods both of them were fast asleep minutes after settling down for the night.

* * *

When 2001 arrived Spencer started looking for preschools and apartments near MIT. He had already made the decision to move to Massachusetts in December to do his next PhD. He was a little hesitant to move at all at first. He was worried how all the moving would affect Athena but prayed that she was still too young to remember it. His plan to settle down after MIT was still in full effect though. Hopefully with Athena going to preschool some of the problems at Caltech, and the ones that were bound to come up on moving day, would be sorted out.

After having moved once it wasn't that hard to repack everything and only took a few days. One thing that he had found out was the over the year Athena's things had grown exponentially. When they got settled into their new home he had decided to sort through it all – there was no point unpacking something she wasn't going to need. He should have done it sooner but hadn't realised how much stuff she had until he had to pack it all up.

Actually moving was heartbreaking. All morning Athena had been quite and had refused to eat her breakfast. When the time came to give his keys back things changed. The floodgates opened and he had to deal with a screaming, sobbing three year old who didn't want to leave. It broke his heart every time she cried, but this time was so much worse. This time he was the reason she was crying.

By the time they got to the airport she had managed to cry herself to sleep and had stayed that way until they arrived in Massachusetts.

* * *

 **So there we go! Again please let me know if I got something wrong or missed a holiday or something. I think I understand the education system which we will be going into in next chapters but again if you spot something let me know so I can fix it.**

 **The year at MIT is probably only going to be one chapter as going through all the holidays again in this much detail is slightly pointless. Next chapter we will also be seeing the first appearance of a member of the BAU!**

 **(Just for the fun of it, let's see how many people know their stuff and can guess who it's going to be :) :))**

 **Don't forget to review and see you next time! :D**


	7. Chapter 7: Autumn - Summer 20012002

**Soooo, a reviewer did point out the fact that I never actually described Athena. I think the only thing I've ever told you was that her hair was in pigtails during Halloween...that's my bad...I honestly didn't realise so over the next few chapters that will be fixed :( :)**

 **Congratulations to everyone who guessed Gideon! (Blake was a good guess though) you will be happy to know that you are correct.**

 **I'm excited to post this chapter. It's one of the more interesting ones and not just a summary like the past few. In this story some of the chapters where nothing interesting happens will be summary ones and the chapters which actually have interesting stuff in – like meeting Gideon – will be more first person and a little more involved. This chapter is also one of the longest ones yet, I really wasn't planning on it being this long but stuff happened and I found myself writing nearly 2000 words, nearly double what I intended...so enjoy! :D**

 **Also, I'm not going to lie. I cried a little writing this so just take that as a little warning...but then again I can cry at a flower pot if need be sooo... :'(**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 19/20  
Athena Reid – Age 3/4

Location – Massachusetts

"Do you want spaghetti or chicken for dinner?"...

...No answer. Truthfully he didn't even know why he asked. Since moving to MIT a few days ago Athena hadn't spoken a single word to him. He had never really told her off before. She had always been so good and hadn't done anything to warrant something as extreme as the naughty step...or...chair in their case (after all they did live in a stairs free apartment). But if she kept up the silent treatment he was going to have to do something about it. If Spencer was honest with himself he didn't like the thought of telling her off and dreaded the day it would come to it.

At least she wasn't refusing to eat and didn't necessarily ignore him all the time – she just never spoke to him when he asked her a question. She did, however, listen to him when it came to things like getting dressed or going to bed, at least that was a win right?

After dinner, Spencer decided that enough was enough. If he continued to ignore what she was doing, in the future she wasn't going to listen to him at all. No doubt this would end up with her thinking that she could get away with anything. That was not something Spencer wanted his daughter to become and was not how he wanted her to be raised.

Not wanting to resort to the naughty chair at the moment, Spencer made his way to her room and sat down next to her on the bedroom floor. Gently as he could he moved her toys away from her and got down to her level. In the softest and most caring voice he could manage he spoke, trying to get through to her before he resorted to something more drastic.

"Can you tell me what's wrong? Please? I don't like it when you're quiet. It makes me upset. Do you want me upset?" This was harder to do than he thought. Tears had tried to spill out from before he even walked in the room but he couldn't break down now, not when he still couldn't get through to her. Desperately he tried to get her to talk to him again.

"Sweetheart if you don't talk to me how can I fix this?" he begged. Tears that were once being held at bay were now finally breaking free and tracking down his face, spilling onto the floor below and creating little puddles on the carpet.

"I'm sorry." It was quiet, so quiet he almost didn't hear it.

With those two words almost a weeks' worth of frustration started to bleed out from the two. For what seemed like hours they both sat on the bedroom floor. Athena was crying into his shoulder and both of them were hugging each other as if their lives depended on it. Eventually, Athena cried herself to sleep so Spencer changed her into her PJ's and put her to bed. With a goodnight kiss he left the room, cleaned up and finished some paperwork before going to bed himself.

In the morning, despite the heart to heart, Spencer still gave Athena a little punishment for the way she acted. It wasn't nearly as bad as it would have been if she had continued to ignore him but it was enough to remind her to think twice before trying something like that again.

* * *

For the rest of the year nothing particularly interesting happened. Holidays were celebrated, costumes worn and food was eaten. Athena's first day at preschool even went well. There were no tantrums and no major problems had come up. Through it all Spencer kept taking photos, wanting to document the whole thing. In all honesty the photo collection had reached a rather large number, but he couldn't face getting rid of them. Instead, he kept on buying photo albums, each one with her name and the time frame written on it.

Towards the end of the academic year guest lecturers started coming in, every single one of them desperate to grab the final year students for recruitment. After having done this before Spencer didn't take much notice of many of them and avoided the lecture theatres. There were the usual suspects: hospitals, labs, NASA... then there was the BAU.

BAU – Behavioural Analysis Unit. Part of the FBI who focus on the behavioural aspects of a case to help them solve it. It wasn't new thing to Spencer, he had heard of them before and even had a chance to meet one of the agents. But he was young then and not bothered about getting a job. Now that he was older, and a father, he needed a way to support his family. He knew the risks involved and while it may not be the safest choice, it was a choice he would at least like to learn more about.

With Athena at preschool Spencer hadn't looked into babysitters, a decision he was now coming to regret. No babysitter meant that he now had to bring a three-year-old child to a lecture about serial killers. So many things could go wrong but there was nothing to be done about it.

As recruitment talks go it was pretty standard. Talk about the job, the requirements, pay, opportunities and other things like that. What was different about this talk was that didn't only use examples of what they did; they used real cases. The cases also involved the students and they were encouraged to participate and get more of a feel for the job. Spencer supposed it was also to allow whoever was doing the talk to pick out people who were naturally good at the job. He tried to take part as much as possible but it was a bit difficult. He had picked a seat at the back of the hall, near the exit, in case he needed to make a quick escape with Athena if she became fussy; but that also meant it was difficult to get involved and raising his voice to be heard wasn't something he wanted to do.

All that changed when the aspect of geological profiling came up.

As Agent Gideon spoke about the case he began pulling up slides with victim information on them and a basic geological profile. "Geological profiling is used to determine the most probable area where an UNSUB with multiple victims either lives or operates. However, when done incorrectly it can do more harm than good to an ongoing investigation...Now, in this case, this was the original profile that was worked up. Can anyone tell me why this is wrong?" gesturing to the slide behind him he looked around the room, eyes barely noticing Spencer at all, trying to find someone to answer his question. He was only met with silence.

Somewhere during the explanation Athena had settled into his lap to cuddle him and Spencer was far from complaining. The momentary distraction of adjusting his hold passed and his focus returned to the room. A room that was still silent. Maybe they were trying to figure out what was wrong or perhaps they had given up, but either way no one said anything. Before Spencer could even think about saying anything himself the words were already coming out of his mouth.

"The points are wrong." A steady gaze from the agent at the front distracted him from the turned heads of his fellow students. With a shaky breath and a tighter hold on his daughter he gave the explanation the agent was waiting for.

"Geological profiling uses an algorithm which tracks an UNSUB's victims and calculates probabilities, based on those coordinates, as to where they live or operate. In this case whoever made the geological profile didn't take into account that the victims were moved. When that data is added in the most likely area for the UNSUB to be is 6.3 miles south of the location which was originally calculated."

After that everything was a bit of a blur. As it turns out Spencer was right. Exactly right in fact. When the agents had worked out why their profile was wrong and after correcting it they had found the UNSUB...6.3 miles away from their previous search location.

With that final piece of information the talk was over and the questions began. 30 minutes later Spencer and Athena had somehow ended up being talked into getting dinner at a local diner by Agent Gideon himself.

* * *

At the diner down the road, Spencer and Athena took one side of a booth near the window and Agent Gideon took the other. After ordering food and drinks the three sat in an almost uncomfortable silence. No doubt if Athena wasn't there 'almost' uncomfortable would definitely be uncomfortable as the two adults were watching her colour and practice her shapes. Despite knowing what a circle was she still had trouble telling the difference between her squares and triangles causing Spencer to smile.

"When did you adopt her?" So absorbed in his daughter's drawings he didn't even register the question for a good few seconds. When he did eventually realise what he was being asked his brain decided to shut down.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't the most intelligent thing Spencer could have said but at least it made sense and he was sure the confusion he was feeling was written all over his face.

"It's her eyes. They're a unique colour, European ancestry if I'm not mistaken. If you look closely enough you can see that they are more different to your eyes than when you first look..." he began explaining.

Confusion morphed into curiosity. 'So this is a profiler at work' Spencer thought.

"...and whilst a parent with brown eyes can have a green eyed daughter, with the unique shade it's far more likely that she's adopted." Agent Gideon finished.

At that moment, before Spencer could ask any more questions, the waiter returned with their food. The arrival of food also brought back the almost uncomfortable silence. As usual, Athena made a mess and took quite a bit of persuasion to eat the salad that came with her chicken. Every time Spencer fussed over her he would catch Gideon smiling at him. There was obviously a story behind that smile but there was no way he was going to ask for it. Instead he kept quiet, more than happy to let Gideon fill the silence with random facts and old cases (the PG version of course, after all there was a child nearby).

Even after food had been eaten, and Athena had somehow convinced him to get her ice cream, the two continued to chat about profiling. Before Spencer could reply with his own query concerning one of the cold cases Agent Gideon looked him dead in the eye and asked him the question that would change his life.

"So, do you think you have what it takes to be a profiler? Because I do and it would be a shame to waste that."

* * *

 **Annnnnd Chapter 7 is done! :) I wasn't sure on the whole guest lecturers in the evenings but my uni does it and thought "hey probably true at MIT...". Also note that my first person writing is not the best so I apologise, but practise makes perfect right? And yeah I hope my explanation of geological profiling makes sense to you guys, I wanted to do something to make him stand out so that Gideon noticed him and how smart he was.**

 **The confusing triangles and squares is actually a true story and I thought it would be cute to add it in if anyone was wondering.**

 **Again thank you everyone who is involved in this story and thank you for your support and suggestions!**

 **Leave a review and a fav and I'll see you next time :P**


	8. Chapter 8: 2002 - 2004

**Yeah, this is late. Sorry, but in my defence it's not** ** _that_** **late. I also believe it's one of the shorter chapters so far. But never mind that, hope you enjoy ! :)**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 20 - 23  
Athena Reid – Age 4 - 6

Location – Washington, D.C.

As always, finding an apartment was difficult. This time though it was almost impossible. Not only did it have to be in a place where he could easily get to the academy and the FBI headquarters (where he would be working) but it also had to be near nearly a dozen other places. Some of which included Athena's preschool and her kindergarten as well as a grocery store. There were also the less important places such as a park (Athena's request), a decent coffee shop and good library or bookshop. All-in-all it was hell, but eventually he managed to find a second-floor apartment with 2 large bedrooms and a third, smaller bedroom which could also be an office. The kitchen and living room were open plan and the view from the windows was better than he anticipated. He somehow even managed to get the place at a reduced price due to lack of interest and the kindness of the owner.

"Athena be careful!" she was going to be the death of him. Currently she was running around the empty apartment and almost sliding into every wall there was.

"Sorry daddy." She shouted back but didn't stop with her little game.

"It's ok. Do you want to go and see your room?" apparently that was a yes as she had stopped running around and instead was grinning at him from across the room while very poorly containing her excitement.

* * *

"So you must be the new guy. Need any help?"

Pausing from lifting and lugging heavy boxes into their new apartment Spencer looked up at the source of the voice. It came from a tall woman who appeared to have dark brown eyes and black hair which was hidden underneath her hat. Before he could answer her question she ploughed on ahead and introduced herself.

"I'm Melissa; I live next door to you with my partner, Emma." It was an odd way to phrase things. From that Spencer knew it was a test. Her smile was sweet but her eyes said 'I dare you to say something'. That defiance she had could only have come from past discrimination. Not from other people though, in the past 10 minutes he had learned she didn't care what people thought about her, which only left family. A family that probably cast her out, but as the cliché goes: she rose like a phoenix from the ashes and became the woman that stood in front of him.

After introductions, Melissa had been very helpful in helping bring boxes up to the apartment but had to leave for her child psychology night class. Athena's grumbling stomach decided his next move. After getting everything into the apartment they went to the shop to pick up a few things and were going to get the rest the next day. Not bothering to cook Spencer and Athena ate at a local fast food restaurant. On the drive home Athena had fallen asleep, not wanting to wake her up he juggled the shopping and her all the way to their new home.

"You must be Spencer..." a smallish woman with bright blue hair stated as she approached from behind him.

"...I'm Emma, Melissa's girlfriend." Ah.

"Nice to meet you, Melissa mentioned you earlier."

"Melissa told me about you but not this little cutie!" she whispered, noticing the sleeping toddler he carried.

Smiling like a proud father he introduced his sleeping daughter. "Well this is Athena, my daughter."

"..." if the silence didn't show her confusion her expression did. Under different circumstances he might have laughed but if he was honest with himself, like Melissa, he was terrified of the woman.

"How old are you‽ I thought she was your little sister!" well at least she kept her voice somewhat down and didn't wake Athena up.

"Yeah I get that a lot; I'm 20 by the way, 21 in a couple of months. I adopted Athena when she was one, 3 years ago, and no she isn't related to me other than that."

"Huh" well at least it wasn't a look of disgust or her looking at him like he was crazy (which he usually got).

Not knowing what to say the two stood there awkwardly, looking back and forth between Athena and each other. Then, after several very awkward moments the silence was thankfully broken.

"Right. I should let you two get back to whatever you were doing. It was nice to meet you." And with that Emma disappeared into her own apartment in a flash of blue.

* * *

A few weeks after moving in, the apartment gained two more occupants. One of Athena's classmates had a cat that had just had kittens. The parents couldn't look after all the small balls of fluff and had given them away to friends. Somehow Athena had managed to talk Spencer into getting two of the kittens for her. He really should have known better, after all, nothing good comes from Athena starting a sentence with 'Daddy'. It was a weakness, he was willing to admit it and now the family was doubled in size due to the addition of Pudding and Toffee. Spencer did silently agree that it was nice to have the two cats around and watching Athena play with them led to many photo opportunities of the giggling child and her little friends.

Work wise the Academy was fine. No more difficult than some of the stuff he's done in the past. Training wise though...well there was an issue there. It was no secret that Spencer wasn't the fittest person in the world. He wasn't completely unfit, running around after a small child made sure of that, but there was no way he was going to pass the physical part of the academy without exceptions. Fortunately, exceptions were exactly what he got thanks to Agent Gideon. And so his time at the academy was made so much easier and when he got home he wasn't exhausted from running around all day and got to play with his daughter and listen to her telling him stories from school as he made dinner.

Never once did he regret his decision, he was happy, Athena was happy and life was good.

* * *

 **Whilst writing this there was a medical...thing (I really don't know how to describe it as anything other than a thing) so this chapter didn't get as much attention as my others but I hope that it's ok (even if most of it was written whilst I was half asleep {the best time for writing as I've discovered}). There were also so many problems with uploading this chapter so it took longer that it should have.**

 **I also think that an interrobang is my new favourite punctuation mark.**

 **Cat names come from a family tradition of naming pets after food. I have no idea why but it's cute so...yeah.**

 **Next chapter we officially start season 1 of criminal minds and we see how this affects his home life.**

 **Fav and review and I'll see you next time. :)**


	9. Chapter 9: Autumn - Summer 20052006

**Hi again guys! =) A few things before we get into the chapter:  
1/ THANK YOU for your continued support; every view, fav, follow and review makes my day :) :)  
2/ His next child will show up in the next few chapters and I can't say any more without giving the whole thing away  
3/ In these chapters I will incorporate some elements from the show such as getting shot, killing an UNSUB, dying related things, people leaving stuff like that because there is no way that it's not going to affect his family. What I'm going to try and do though is focus it on his family and not what actually happened in the show (if that makes sense?)  
4/ We meet more of the team in this chapter but it won't be everyone, I hope they aren't too far from believable but let me know what you think as my brain kinda burned out at the end so I have no idea what is going on in the last part of this chapter...**

 **5/ FLASHBACK marked in** ** _Italics_**

 **Anyway, that's enough from me, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 23 - 24  
Athena Reid – Age 7 - 8

Location – Washington, D.C.

Emma and Melissa were life savers. Spencer's original plan was to get a babysitter for when he was on cases and unable to be with his daughter; his neighbours, however, saved him from the hassle, and the money. He was incredibly grateful to them for what they were doing for him and wouldn't forget their kindness and generosity.

Not to say he trusted all the people on his floor with his daughter while he was on cases. The kind old man on his other side was always making Athena laugh and somehow sneaking her candy without him knowing, but he tired easily and looking after a 7-year-old for an extended period of time was out of the question. Then there was the woman one door over who _really_ didn't know how to look after children, during the brief talks he had with her she looked terrified at being in the presence of a kid.

So no, they didn't look after Athena on his extended trips for work but Emma and Mellissa had taken on the challenge and were succeeding in it. However, there was one neighbour that Spencer absolutely didn't trust with his child – not even for a few minutes – and that was 'Creepy Pete'.

 _"So how are you settling in?" Emma asked one morning after her run as she met Spencer and Athena in the hallway._

 _"Great actually," he answered with a smile "not so much fussing with this little one this time around." he continued despite the noise of protest from his daughter who was not at all pleased with him mentioning that. The adorable noise caused the two adults to laugh before they continued on, talking about Melissa's night classes and other odds and ends._

 _A noise from the end of the hallway caused the three to pause in their conversation. In the quiet hallway the noise was more easily identifiable as something scratching on something wooden. As far as Spencer could tell the noise was coming from the last door on their floor. From an apartment he thought was unoccupied._

 _Barely whispering Emma answered all the questions running through his head, occasionally glancing back at the door to check for any sign of movement. "His name's Pete. He moved in a couple of months after me and Melissa. We've only ever seen him a few times and neither of us has_ _ **ever**_ _spoken to him. Personally, he gives me the creeps, weird noises are always coming from his apartment. The police have actually been called a few times but nothing other than that has ever happened." With one final look over her shoulder she disappeared into her apartment, leaving Spencer and Athena standing in the corridor warily looking at the door at the end of the hallway._

Ever since that conversation Spencer has been wary of his secretive neighbour and Athena was more than happy to stay away; saying that 'Creepy Pete is creepy' which confused Spencer but he wasn't going to argue with her. Not knowing much about his neighbour he didn't want to judge, you never know what a person is going through and if they have reasons behind their behaviour, but he still kept a careful look out for anything strange. Just in case.

* * *

"Morning Reid." Hotch greeted as he joined Spencer in the elevator on the way up to the office.

"Morning Hotch."

"How's Athena?" Spencer was quiet for a moment. Hotch and Gideon were the only two on the team who knew about his daughter. Gideon had worked it out for himself years ago and Hotch had known the minute he read Reid's file. While the information was restricted from his team mates, his boss had full disclosure and Spencer made him promise not to tell the others for the moment. Not until he was ready for them to know.

"Great thanks!" he replied with a smile. "What about Haley?" he questioned, wanting to get away from talking about his private family life.

"She'd good, excited for the due date." he finished but then sighed "...you know that you can trust the team?"

"Yeah...I...I don't know. It's been me and her for years and I don't think now is the right time for the team to find out about her, not until I know that she will be safe."

"Well, you know that when you do decide to tell them you have people supporting you."

"Yeah. Thanks Hotch." With a sip of his coffee he walked out of the elevator and got to work, diving into the piles of files on his desk.

* * *

"I had fun today Spence." She said in that kind voice he had come to associate with her. He didn't know what to say, the whole date thing was more of a set-up to tell her about Athena. Of all his team-mates who didn't know, she was by far the one he trusted most. She was like a big sister to him, always looking out for him. In the end he couldn't do it, didn't even know how to broach the subject so stayed quiet. Now they were here, standing outside her door, and he was completely out of his element. The only thing he wanted was to go home.

Refusing to look up at her he mumbled his half thought out reply to the ground "Yeah, I did too."

Was he supposed to kiss her, was she expecting that? So far he's barely looked at her.

Turns out he had been staring at the ground for longer than he thought if her next words were any indication.

"Well, I'll see you at work on Monday."

"Yeah, bye, see you then." He replied before she shut the door and he was left alone.

When he got home he couldn't have been more relieved that the whole, awkward, thing was over. Maybe he wasn't as ready to tell them as he thought he was.

* * *

By the time Spencer got home it was already past Athena's bedtime. That didn't stop her from staying up though and on days like these he was glad she ignored him. As soon as Emma left she came running up to him in her bunny pyjamas, tightly holding onto her blanket.

"Daddy?" Guess there was no point in hiding it now. She was amazing perceptive for her age. Although failing his firearms qualification and then killing someone with a firearm isn't exactly something that you can forget. Or hide.

"Did you finish all your dinner?" Distracting her with food was always a good way at redirecting questions he didn't want to answer but this time it didn't work. Instead she walked over to him and hugged him as hard as she could. Unfortunately her hug was making the pain from his bruised ribs flare up. Not having the heart, or the energy, to tell her this they both wound up cuddling on the sofa watching some documentary on TV. At some point Pudding and Toffee joined them and as Spencer drifted off to sleep he realised that everything would be okay.

When Jack was born he couldn't help the excitement that he felt for Hotch and Haley. In fact he ended up having to hide it from his team members because for some reason he still hadn't told them about Athena despite the fact that all of them had gained his trust. He even would have held little Jack if the team wasn't there. Over the years kids didn't terrify him as much as they used to, yes babies were still a bit of a grey area. But given the chance to hold a new life in his arms, he wouldn't turn it down. With his team there though, he guessed that it would just have to wait.

* * *

 **Chapter 9/season 1 is done! Hope you liked it.**

 **You may have noticed that I left out Lila. No, I didn't forget her, it just didn't fit into what I was doing. So if you were wondering where she was – that's where she was (or wasn't?).**

 **I also didn't put in the train incident. I did plan to originally write it but the ending with baby Jack was too sweet. I might reference it though later but who knows.**

 **If there are any events within the seasons that you would like to see then please leave a review to let me know. Chances are that I'm already doing it (especially if it's a big event) but just in case my memory has let me down feel free to ask.**

 **See you next time and don't forget to review bye! :)**


	10. Chapter 10: Autumn - Winter 20062007

**I don't even know where to start with this one...everything kinda just went pear-shaped. :/**

 **Warning: Very brief mentions of self-harm and suicide towards the end**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 24 - 25  
Athena Reid – Age 8

Location – Washington, D.C.

Athena knew that his mum was sick, she didn't know the whole story but she knew enough. Now his team knew too. He never wanted that to happen; never wanted them to look at him differently. He just wanted to fit in and for the first time in his life, he thought he was achieving that. Now, this happened and he realised that fitting in isn't as important as he thought it was.

Spencer didn't even have that much time to process the fact his team had found out something he wanted to keep to himself. Soon after settling his mother back into Bennington he got a call from the hospital back home.

"Hello, is this Dr. Reid?" A woman spoke.

"Yes?" he barely managed to say with a passive tone. Calls from the hospital were never good and he was too far away to do anything about it.

"We have your daughter, Athena, here at the moment."

Panic set in, and being polite was the last thing on his mind "What happened?" he all but demanded from the poor woman who was only doing her job.

Used to other people reacting the same way, the woman remained calm and answered his question. "Athena broke her arm earlier today and was brought in by one of her teachers. She's fine now and one of your neighbours is here at the moment. A woman called Emma? Unfortunately, we can't release Athena into her care due to hospital rules."

"No, of course, I understand, I will be there as soon as I can. Thank you."

When he finally arrived at the hospital he had managed to calm himself down considerably. He was constantly reminding himself that it was only a broken arm and that she was going to be fine. Stepping off the elevator and onto the hospital floor he saw Melissa in the waiting area. He assumed she had joined Emma in the time it took him to get there. After knowing each other for as long as they did she didn't even bother with a greeting, knowing that right now the only thing on his mind was his daughter's status.

"She's fine, currently asleep from some medication they gave her; I don't know what it is they won't tell us...her teacher said that Athena _claimed_ she had fallen down." A noise from behind them forced her to look around before lowering her voice. "But we think that someone pushed her and she's too afraid to tell us who..."

This was not happening.

"...nurses said that all you need to do is sign some forms then she can be released" Melissa continued on, not giving him enough time to process everything before pointing him in the right direction; his brain still trying to catch up to the fact his baby girl was being bullied.

Putting everything going on in his head on hold Spencer managed to pull himself together long enough to get Athena ready to leave. Melissa offered to drive them home and he made sure to thank the two for them being there.

Once home, he put Athena straight to bed then called Hotch. After a 10-minute phone call and a promise to keep each other updated Spencer hung up. Due to the last case, and Elle still being on medical leave, the whole team had at least a week off, possibly two depending on how things went. Not willing to wake Athena up he decided to talk to her in the morning about her alleged fall. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep Spencer grabbed a cup of coffee and set about working on some odd pieces of paperwork.

When morning came he rang Athena's school and arranged for her to have a couple of days off with the promise to catch up on the work she would miss. Once that was sorted out he prepared yet another cup of coffee and set about making pancakes. Despite what his team thought he did know how to cook; after all, he was cooking from the age of 10. Yes, he would admit his cooking was nothing fancy but it was enough to support himself (when he remembered to eat) and his daughter.

As he was done cooking he heard shuffling from down the hallway, the smell of food waking up the other occupant of the apartment.

"Sweetheart you'd tell me if anything was wrong, right?" he questioned after she had sat down at the table.

No answer.

Placing a plate of cut up pancakes in front of her he waited. Eventually she would tell him, he just had to be patient.

After half her plate was gone she stopped eating and started playing with her food. So quietly he almost didn't catch it she apologised. "I'm sorry daddy."

"What for?" He questioned, praying that it wasn't as bad as he was imagining.

"I wanted to be strong like you. It was my fault, I shouldn't have talked back." The trembling in her voice almost broke him but he continued.

"Talk back to who?"

"..."

"Sweetheart? Please, tell me. Talk back to who?"

He could see the moment she gave up trying to hide things from him. Her eyes welled up and she blurted out her answer before the tears could take over. "A girl in my class, she said I was stupid and that you didn't love me. She said that if you really cared about me you wouldn't be gone so much. She said that you wish you never adopted me." He hoped that that was the end but he knew better. "I told her she was wrong. I said that you loved me and that I always get higher grades than her so she must be stupid too. She got really angry and pushed me. I tripped and I broke my arm." She finished amidst tears and gasps of breath.

For the sake of his daughter he kept calm, but on the inside he was livid. Holding her as tightly he dared he kept whispering to her that he loved her over and over again until her cries calmed down. Letting Athena go play in her room with the cats he walked out into the hallway. Dialling the school he proceeded to have a very strict conversation with the head teacher.

* * *

When Elle came back, Spencer tried to be there for her. There was something wrong that only Hotch and himself seemed to notice. By the time he knew what it was, things had already spiralled for her. Killing Lee, missing a physiological evaluation and then leaving the BAU.

When she left he managed to stay in contact with her, as far as he was aware he was the only one. Spencer even supported her when she decided to go travelling. At first, it was just the US but as time went on she branched out further and started travelling the world. Despite being so far away they still stayed in contact with her sending him postcards from all the places she had been. There were odd calls here and there but they were always short and they never talked about anything too personal. She was trying to heal and so far was doing a good job, he was just there for support and he was fine with that.

The postcards he received were always promptly taken by Athena, who had taken a blank section of hallway wall and stuck up a large, black and white poster of the world; the postcards were stuck up all around the edges and arrows pointed to where they were from. Athena even coloured in the places on the map that Elle had visited and had done a rather neat job for an 8-year-old. Even though Athena and Elle had never met (Elle didn't even know about her) she treated the woman like family, somehow picking up on the team dynamic and inserting herself into it.

Every time Spencer passed the display he was glad that his daughter had an artistic side. She certainly made the apartment look more lived in and interesting. Recently she had even convinced him to begin a plate collection of the weirdest and most colourful plates she could find. It was a bit of a weird hobby for someone her age but his daughter had him wrapped around her little finger and he didn't press his concern. After all, it wasn't causing anyone any harm and as Melissa said when she saw the collection "It's kind of cool if you ask me."

* * *

When Emily joined he didn't know what to think of her. He knew she was trying her best to fit in and not cause problems within the team but he was so distracted by everything going on that it was taking a while to get a read on her. For now, he stayed polite towards her with the hope that one day they would become friends.

One of the things he was distracted with was Athena. Over the past couple of weeks things seemed to be getting better for her at school, either that or she was becoming better at hiding things from him. But she seemed fine and he decided not to mention it.

Then Nathan Harris happened. Things were good. Yes, Elle left but she was healing, things with Emily seemed to be going smoothly and Athena was happy. But then he comes home with his hands covered in blood from a man, no, a child, who had stalked him, got involved in a case and then tried to kill himself. The calm and happy last few weeks were shattered in the span of one case. That night he and Athena ate pizza and ice-cream whilst watching TV, the young father trying to make a happy memory to balance the bad one.

Falling asleep that night only one thought kept circling: _What else could go wrong?_

* * *

 **Well now that that painful chapter is over (seriously you wouldn't believe how difficult it was to write), onto the next chapter! And yes, it's exactly what you think it's going to be and I can't wait (in some weird and slightly disturbing way...)**

 **For those of you wondering there is a plan in place for the team members finding out about the kids. I actually know when it's going to happen for each member but just haven't written it yet but fear not all will be revealed in later chapters!**

 **(blame the cold for me being slightly more crazy than usual)**

 **Please review and I'll see you next time! =)**


	11. Chapter 11: Winter - Summer 2007

**I am so unbelievably excited for this, I loved writing this and I hope you enjoy it. :) This is also by far the longest chapter yet (and will probably always be the longest chapter) so please let me know what you think.**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 25  
Athena Reid – Age 8 - 9

Location – Georgia, Washington D.C.

With all of the last year, he just wanted a break; time to sit down and relax, not worrying about anything...

That wasn't going to happen.

After the incident over a year ago in Texas, where Elle and he were almost killed on a train, Spencer tried to start taking fewer risks. Apparently, he wasn't very good at it, a trouble magnet if you will. The moment he split up from JJ was the moment where he knew he screwed up, once again landing himself in danger, and there was nothing he could do about it. Now he was tied to a chair, in the middle of an old cabin, held hostage by a serial killer with multiple personalities. And that was only the beginning.

Waking to the smell of burning fish almost made him gag. He knew then that he never would be able to stand that smell again.

"Keeps away the devil," Raphael said, but all Spencer could think was that at that moment it wasn't doing a very good job.

On the outside he kept calm, – "I study human behaviour" – whilst on the inside he was panicking. He prayed that the team would somehow find him soon but, logically, he knew that they wouldn't. His memory was fracturing, possibly due to the blow to his head. He knew he was saying things but couldn't quite remember what. His brain was shifting from the present to the past; to memories of his daughter laughing and having fun, the memories desperately trying to help him cope.

He was aware of the gun – "I'm not interested in the arguments of men" – and Spencer knew what was about to happen. Even if he wasn't tied down he was still frozen in place with shock.

"It's God's will."

He wanted to shout and scream and beg, but all that came out was a desperate whisper. "Please don't do this."

When that trigger was pulled he was terrified, shaking in fear. Against his will, probabilities forced their way to the front of his mind. There was a 1 in 6 chance of dying, a 16.7% probability that he would never see his daughter again. Spencer was a genius, a mathematician, but in that moment he had never hated maths more.

In the end he must have blacked out, as when he woke daylight was visible through the windows and he was alone. Spencer only struggled for a few moments before he realised it was useless, the bonds were too tight. Instead, he sat and tried to come up with a plan.

Not 20 minutes later the door opened and his time being alone to think was over. Looking at his capture though, something was different, – "What are you staring at boy?" – Spencer then spoke before his brain told him it wasn't a good idea.

"You're not Raphael." He said with hope seeping into the words.

Before long though that hope evaporated into fear – "I'm not a liar" – and at that point he knew he shouldn't have spoken – "Lying is a sin" – his brain tried to scramble for the words to save his life – "I'm not a liar" – but repetition was the only thing he could do.

"We're all sinners." With that phrase, Spencer thought of something, a very small something that he had no option but to try.

The words tumbled out, some getting jumbled together and others missing entirely before he finally finished with "Ye shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy"

For one sweet moment it seemed to work but once again he was thrust into the icy depths of fear – "The devil knows how to read too." – Spencer tried to reason with him – "...I have a mother and I have a father, just like you..." – but it was no use and the sudden pain radiating up his leg was distracting him even more.

By the time the pain was manageable Spencer was once faced with another personality – "Tobias" – this time he didn't bother with a plan to escape, he had long ago settled with the fact he might never see anything other than this cabin. He just hoped that his mother and daughter would be looked after when he was gone. When Tobias came up to him, tying his belt around his arm –"What are you doing? – he struggled, not knowing what was happening but praying it wasn't what he thought it was. – "Please, I don't want it!" – His pleas fell on deaf ears as the drug was injected into him, his mind immediately drifting off into a pain-free haze, and memories he wished to forget floating to the surface.

If he was more in control of himself, "...no one gonna hear you where you are." would have sparked more fear into him than it did. The same could be said when the camera was pulled out but Spencer was still too far gone, and too far from caring, to fully register what was happening.

"I'll let you choose one to live."

If Spencer thought he had any chance to live left he wouldn't have answered as he did "No."

As it turns out hope was closer than he thought – "The other heathens are watching" – he tried thinking who it could be but the only conclusion he could come to was that it was the team, which meant he had a reason to live after all. His mouth didn't seem to care though and only angered his capture even more, the drugs making him lose control of himself and causing his fractured memory to turn foggy.

On some level Spencer was aware of what he was being asked to do, picking a life to save and a life to lose, but his mind was wondering in a thousand different directions. What he was being asked was impossible but there was no way out, – "Far right screen." – She reminded him of Athena, her honey brown hair catching his eye and making him want to save her. When the screen went dark though, he couldn't even be relieved that she was saved. One would still have to die. And it would be his fault; nothing Gideon could say would convince him otherwise.

"He cannot break you."

The truth was...he already had.

When Tobias returned and injected him again he only half-heartedly struggled, the pull of addiction already taking root and once again pulling him into his past, to a moment when his mother used to read to him.

He wanted to stay in that memory, to a time where, even though she was sick, she was still his mother. But all too soon he was being dragged away from the happy moment and instead was faced with the blinding pain being inflicted upon him; his team watching every second.

Then the sudden blackness came to soothe him.

When he woke, or was brought back (he wasn't sure which), he saw a clue as to where he was. His oxygen starved brain struggled to help him process what he was seeing...and how it was going to help.

His plan passed in a blur, a combination of drugs and trauma meaning that he only remembered small parts of the whole thing.

The gun with 3 shots. 50%. Hotch. 1 shot. Water. Hope. His mother – "I'm so sorry" – His confession. The grave. The gun, 1 bullet, 1 shot. Death. Hugging Hotch...

...2 vials of drug.

* * *

The way he treated Emily made him sick, she was only trying to help and he kept snapping at her. Not only that but she was new to the team, him excluding her probably made her feel even more left out than she already felt. All because he wanted his next fix. It was disgusting. He reminded himself of the bullies from his childhood. How they were so wrapped up in their own world that they would hurt everyone around them to fill the silence of their own creating. He felt ill thinking about what he had become.

That night was the first time he resisted the urge to satisfy his addiction. But the threat of becoming exactly like his childhood tormentors wasn't enough to stop him feeding his addiction for long.

Ethan was the reason he started to seriously consider quitting. He was one of only a few friends from his past, one of the only people he would ever listen too. Ethan knew the moment he saw him what was going on and wasn't afraid to tell him what he thought about it. He made Spencer, for the first time, think about what he was doing to his life. What he was doing to his family.

After missing the plane Gideon had showed up, he had hoped the talk with him would help him cement the idea Ethan had given him about giving up, but if he was honest it made him feel worse. Despite that though, that night was the second time he ignored the drugs. Just like the first time though, it didn't last long.

Over the next few weeks he kept trying to quit on his own, but he kept slipping back towards the drug. He would last a little while but a few hours into the withdrawal, when his symptoms were at their peak, he once again reached for a needle. He supposed that was his first mistake in trying to quit – he didn't throw it away when he could – having the liquid relief so close made his struggle infinitely worse.

As he kept spiralling he started to make mistakes, the biggest of which was in hiding his addiction from his daughter.

One day in May it all came crashing down, from the open bathroom door Athena saw what he was doing and before he could even process it she was out the door and knocking on Emma and Melissa's. She told them everything and she was smart enough to understand most of what was going on. At that moment he didn't realise how thankful he would be towards her.

She ended up mostly staying with them until he _'could be an actual parent'_ again. Emma and Melissa had also done the one thing that he couldn't do, the one thing he should have done. They searched his apartment and threw away any and all traces of the drug that they could find. He knew it wasn't all of it though, and he hated that he didn't mention anything. They even called Hotch to try and arrange some time off work, it wasn't necessary. After Frank, the whole team was once again on paid leave. According to Melissa, Hotch didn't ask many questions, if Spencer was in the right mind he would have questioned why.

His neighbours also took turns to sit with him, them working from home was one of the only things stopping him from feeling so guilty. The other was the fact that without them his daughter, his child, would have nowhere to go and no one to lean on. They would make sure he ate and drank, kept an eye on him so he wouldn't hurt himself. Mostly they just talked about random things and gave him updates on how Athena was doing.

Over time he still kept slipping, finding and using all the hidden vials when they weren't looking. But over time it was less and less, the doses lower and lower, as he moved further from the trauma and more towards living again. No matter how well he had done though he was still frustrated with himself that he even got to this point. He could also see the strain on his friend's faces as well. See the disappointment when he slipped, knowing that Spencer deliberately didn't tell them about the hidden vials.

After his last slip, Emma threatened to call CPS and have his daughter taken away from him, it was then that he realised what he was doing. How it was affecting everyone around him more drastically than he first thought. He loved his daughter and didn't think he would be able to cope if she got taken away from him. And so he took his first real step towards getting clean.

Licking his cracked lips he spoke out with a hoarse voice from days of not talking and the near constant vomiting. "Under the squeaky floor board...in front of the dresser."

Emma, in her beauty and understanding, knew instantly what he was talking about and headed towards his bedroom to find and destroy the first of the last three hidden vials.

Summoning all his strength, both physical and mental, he spoke again once she returned. "On the bookshelf, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, it's not a real book, it has a hidden compartment."

This one took longer to find, the sheer number of books in his apartment making it difficult to find a specific one. After what Spencer guessed was 10-minutes, Emma came back.

"Is that all of them?" she questioned in a voice that was far more caring than it had been in the last few days.

Breathing in and closing his eyes Spencer took a moment for the nausea to pass before giving away the last location of Dilaudid and ending the damaging cycle he was in. "Back of the wardrobe, in an old pair of trainers."

For the third time that night Emma left his sight. Once she was done getting rid of all three vials she came back to the bathroom and sat with him through the last of his withdrawal; knowing that Spencer was finally willing to get better and to be a father again.

Spencer will forever remember that day, the day that he finally, after months of struggling, had the will to give up the drug completely. All it took was the threat towards his daughter, towards one of the only good things in his life.

He got clean for himself, to prove he wasn't weak, that this didn't define him. He stayed clean for Athena, his family and his friends.

Once he was clearheaded enough to think he thought back on the past few months. He was sure at least some of the team knew what was going on. They wouldn't be very good profilers if they were completely oblivious. He thought back to Melissa's conversation with Hotch, he probably didn't ask questions because not only did he already know what was going on, but he also didn't want to be put into a difficult situation if anyone else found out. He was almost sure Gideon knew, after that talk, albeit a bad one, he had to have known. The others he wasn't sure about, but he wouldn't put it past them.

Spencer promised himself that he would make up for all that he had done to them in some way or another. His first act was taking Athena, Melissa and Emma out for a slightly late 9th birthday dinner, the whole while wondering how he ever managed to let his addiction get that far.

* * *

During one of their very rare calls, a week or so before he got clean, Elle figured out something was wrong; she was a profiler after all. She may not have the job but she still had the instincts. Without him even knowing she found her way back to D.C., from wherever in the world she was, to check up on him. And so, almost two weeks after the last drop of Dilaudid entered his veins, Elle Greenaway knocked on his door and a very rumpled Spencer Reid answered.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you but it's 5 AM Elle." He spoke after only a few moments of trying to understand how she was stood at his door and if he was still dreaming.

Clearly more awake than he was but still as confused she answered him, "Oh. Sorry, time zones, I just... Listen I'm not good with this whole thing but..."

Interrupting her and saving her from trying to come up with something to say Spencer opened the door wider in a gesture for her to come in.

"How about we go out to breakfast somewhere?" she suggested, still uncomfortable at being there.

Still half asleep, Spencer didn't even register what he was saying as he turned his back to his guest "Yeah sure, let me get dressed and wake Athena."

"Who?"

Oh.

Laughing slightly Spencer turned towards her "My daughter." He answered before fleeing the hallway to the back of the apartment, leaving a confused Elle stood near the door.

They sat in awkward silence until after they had ordered, Elle trying to figure out what to say and Spencer working out how he could answer her questions while giving out the least amount of information possible. When food arrived minutes later he was thankful that she didn't start off with personal questions.

"How's the team?" she asked over the rim of her coffee.

"They're good, for the most part. The last case, it got to Gideon though..." Spencer trailed off, suddenly being reminded of when Elle went through the same thing. He hoped that this time it would have a different outcome.

Before he could change the subject Elle spoke again. "What about my replacement? Who is she, how is she doing?"

He paused.

"You don't have to answer that if you don't want to." Elle quickly told him, obviously knowing something was wrong.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he began telling Elle everything that had happened, starting from the beginning of the Henkel case. She never once interrupted him and every time he faulted she encouraged him with a smile. It was the first time he admitted out loud what had happened and he felt good. Elle knew trauma all too well and so didn't ask any questions, instead, letting him change topics after a moment of silence.

"So, what's travelling the world like?"

As they finished breakfast she told the family of two about the places she'd been. Not even hesitating when Athena, after spending most of the time silent, started asking questions about her adventures. She even told the former profiler about her little map project which now covered a significant portion of wall.

Whilst Athena was away at the bathroom Elle began her interrogation. Asking the real questions she wanted to ask.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

He knew it was coming and had prepared answers earlier and so jumped straight into his explanation. "Most of the time, because of cases, she's either home alone or with her neighbours. I can't take the risk of her getting targeted when I'm not there because of my job."

"The team though, they'd understand. They wouldn't want anything to happen to her either. You have to know that?"

"I do. It's just that it's been so long now."

"You're more worried about them knowing you hid it than them actually knowing in the first place."

"Yeah." He agreed, knowing that it wasn't a question but a statement but still feeling like it needed answering.

"Maybe you should reconsider."

"Maybe."

* * *

 **And now it's done! As I said I had so much fun writing this and it's possibly my favourite chapter yet (even though it was hell to write because thinking linear is really not my thing and there was a tonne of stuff to research and write).**

 **I will say one thing though, based on watching the episode again and looking at the episode transcripts I can't actually find the bible quote Spencer says. Everywhere I've looked has something similar but nothing exact and I don't know why... :/**

 **Also, the actual timeline for Reid getting clean isn't too clear but from what I've worked out he got clean about June 2007 (based on the whole 'I've been clean 10 months' ep from April 08) and hey ho would you look at that it fits in with the timeline of the story. I also did research into withdrawal timelines; nothing was terribly accurate so I left it a bit open-ended (if you were wondering).**

 **Anyway please let me know what you think of the chapter and I'll see you next time! :)**


	12. Chapter 12: Autumn - Winter 20072008

**Hello again! Thank you guys for all the reviews on the last few chapters, they really do mean a lot to me.**

 **Thank you also to all my followers and people who faved! :) =)**

 **This is a shorter chapter and it's more of an intro to the next chapter. One of which I know some of you have been wondering about. Because of this I will be posting chapter 13 earlier than I usually do (not sure when though at this moment).**

 **This chapter might have a few more mistakes than usual as I spent a lot of time sorting out things/problems, packing and moving back to uni so if you spot something don't hesitate to tell me. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 25 - 26

Athena Reid – Age 9

Location – Washington, D.C.

Gideon leaving was a shock, a decision that he should have seen coming but he was too busy sorting out his own life to even think about anyone else's. The man who replaced him was an old friend of the former agent, one who came out of retirement for this position, one that Spencer had always looked up to but never actually met.

At first, no one knew what to think about the whole thing, but they all tried to stay professional during those first few cases.

Spencer would soon learn though that Agent Rossi was not to be wary of and would, in fact, be an ally.

They were sat on the jet after the last case; a man had been kidnapping kids from the playground. He had been trying to replace his own four children, who had died a week earlier in a house fire caused by faulty wiring. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt and all the kids had been reunited with their families. As cases go it wasn't that bad, but it made Spencer think about his own family, and he could see that Hotch was the same. The ones with kids always affected them the most because they knew what it was like to be a parent.

Everyone except Spencer and Rossi was asleep and the two had had silently decided to sit at the same table despite Rossi only just getting used to being back at the BAU and part of a team.

They were sat in a comfortable silence until Rossi punctured it with a softly spoken question, his eyes never leaving the file in his hands. "How's the family?"

The book Spencer was reading suddenly became much less interesting, taking his eyes off the words he looked up sharply to the older profiler. "What?" he questioned.

Rossi sighed and looked up at him, "Kid, I know. If Gideon hadn't told me I could have worked it out for myself. Although I do wonder why the others can't see it..." His end statement was laced with confusion as he trailed off.

Looking around at his sleeping friends he contemplated how much information he should give out. Finally deciding to keep his promise to Elle, he didn't hold anything back. "They think I'm just a kid. Hotch knows and I've never found the right time to tell the others, but even then...they're supposed to be profilers. If they didn't treat me like a child they might have already worked it out but they do, and they haven't."

"Then maybe you should tell them and prove them otherwise."

Before he could reply Rossi was out of his seat and heading towards the bathroom.

"I will. Soon." He whispered to himself before picking up his book and continuing when he left off.

* * *

This was the very thing Spencer was afraid of. Penelope was supposed to be safe; she wasn't out in the field like the rest of the team. She was never supposed to be targeted. She was never supposed to end up in the hospital after being shot. She was never supposed to get hurt.

Thankfully, in the end, she was ok, physically at least, and Battle could never hurt her ever again.

After that, over the next few months, the whole team was more cautious and alert than usual. Not only that but if Spencer held his daughter a little bit tighter when she hugged him, well, who was to blame him?

It was because he was on high alert that as he was walking home he noticed the bundle of green fabric on the bench near his apartment. It was dark, and the bench was out of the light despite being close to the well-lit road. On any other day he might have ignored it, or even missed it, but after everything that had happened recently he was more aware of his surroundings.

As Spencer got closer he noticed that the bundle of green fabric was something much more precious than he originally thought.

Lying asleep in the middle of the bench, wrapped up in a green coat clutching a toy cat was a small child. They were sucking on their thumb and underneath them, fluttering in the icy wind was what looked like a piece of soaked paper.

Dread filled him as he approached the somehow still sleeping child. In his head, Spencer was praying that this wasn't what it looked like. When he finally reached thebench he grasped the paper and carefully opened it, trying not to tear the wet note which showed that the child had most likely been left out in the rain. Once it was open he read the smudged words in his head, the meaning behind those words bouncing around his head, making the wind seem harsher than it was.

 _'I'm sorry._

 _I can't do this alone anymore. I can't do any of it._

 _Everything is falling apart because of me._

 _Please look after my son, my Thomas, my baby boy._

 _I beg you to give him a good life._

 _Please take care of him because I can't._

 _-Nat'_

* * *

 **Hope you liked it and I'll see you next chapter**


	13. Chapter 13: Spring - Summer 2008

**See. I told you this would be up earlier. (I mean it's not that much earlier but in my defence I've had a lot of work this week so...)**

 **WARNINGS: Mentions of abandonment, suicide and past drug use.**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 26  
Athena Reid – Age 9 - 10  
Thomas Reid – Age 2 - 3

Location – Washington, D.C.

He had to call the police, but first he had to get the kid, who was presumably called Thomas, somewhere warm and into some dry clothes. Spencer instantly became more worried when he tried to wake the boy but couldn't. He ended up carrying him across the street and up the stairs to his apartment. Knowing Athena had just got in after staying over at a friend's but not having the time to wait for her to unlock the door he juggled Thomas, his bag and his keys to open the door himself. Stumbling into his apartment he made his way to the sofa, dropping his bag in the process and toppling over a few books as well. Laying the limp boy in his arms down he called out for his daughter.

"Athena, sweetheart, I need your help." Having heard the door open she was already half-way towards him but upon hearing his call she ran the rest of the way, curious about what was going on.

"Daddy who's that?" she immediately questioned.

With all his attention on Thomas he didn't even look back at her to reply, "Athena, not now. Please do as I say."

He hated doing that, there was no reason to shout at her, she'd done nothing wrong, but Thomas had started turning pale blue and his fatherly instincts were screaming at him to do something, and something fast.

Athena caught onto her father's distress and was immediately more alert, running to get blankets and dry clothes for the boy.

When he finally woke Spencer almost cried with relief. Thomas was quiet and confused, but with Athena's help he managed to get him to eat and drink a little.

With Thomas finally awake, warm and curled up on the sofa, with Athena looking over him, he reached for his phone and called the police to report an abandoned child.

* * *

By some small miracle the police managed to identify Thomas and his family. His father was military and had died a few months earlier whilst out of the country on a mission. Thomas's mother, Natalie, was a former alcoholic who relapsed when she heard the news of her husband. She had tried to get sober again but could never quite do it. Two hours after Spencer had found Thomas, Natalie's body was found. She had been drinking and ended up crashing her car into an abandoned building. She died on the way to the hospital. In her personal effects there was a similar note to the one that was found with her son, this one saying that she intended to take her own life.

As far as the police could tell none of their living relatives could take the child in. Natalie's family had wanted nothing to do with her or Thomas and had refused to even acknowledge his existence. Thomas's father's family were a little better but they were all military with large families of their own and none had the space to take a child in. They did, however, give a list of some distant family members who lived nearby and the names of any friends who were looking to adopt.

It was three hours into the search for a home for Thomas and Spencer knew it wasn't looking good. They had managed to work through a significant portion of the list but every one of them was too ill, too far away or not willing to take in a two-year-old boy.

When they finally gave up it was late and the two children had fallen asleep. Due to the late hour Spencer had temporary custody of Thomas until someone from child protective services could come and decide his fate. But in the past few hours with Athena and Thomas, Spencer had another idea.

Walking to the kitchen and picking up his phone he dialled a familiar number and hoped that the person on the other end was still awake.

"Hotch I need a favour. Can you come over?"

Before Hotch arrived Spencer had managed to move both kids to bed; Athena to her own room and Thomas to his, where he had set up Athena's old crib. As he was coming out of his room there was a knock on the door. Gesturing Hotch inside he waited for the older man to sit before he began explaining.

By the time he was finished he was exhausted. Hotch had his concerns and said as much but Spencer was pulled away from answering by a cry from his room which he quickly went to investigate. When he came back Hotch had one last question, just to make sure that Spencer knew what he was asking for.

"Are you sure about this? I still don't think it's a good idea."

"I know, and to a degree, I agree with you. But Hotch...I can't explain it, but please, help me."

Finally relenting he sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you."

With a nod to his boss Hotch left and Spencer started mentally preparing for the possibility of a new addition to his family.

* * *

Somehow, a couple of weeks after he legally adopted Thomas, while he was away for a case, a pregnant stray cat had found her way into the apartment. At first, he was going to take her to a shelter but he couldn't say no to his kids and they ended up keeping her. Unfortunately, a week later, she had died soon after giving birth, along with one of her kittens. The other 4 which had survived were doing well though.

There were lots of tears, especially from Athena, but looking after the kittens had seemed to help and cuddles had fixed the rest. Pudding and Toffee were wary of the new additions but even they warmed up to them eventually.

In the following weeks Spencer had found an NA meeting close to home. Melissa and Emma were amazing in their support, but sometimes he wanted to talk to someone else, someone who had been through what he had.

It was after the Owen Savage case that Spencer decided that he should start telling the team about Athena and Thomas. That's how he ended up asking Garcia where Morgan was one late Friday night.

He was extremely nervous when he approached Morgan and thought that blurting out what he wanted to say would be good enough, he wasn't really in the best state to do anything else. "I want you to meet someone, or rather...two people." He managed to say without stuttering or making a fool of himself.

Putting his coffee mug down there was a moment before Morgan responded, "Reid what's wrong?" His voice full of worry.

"Nothing." It was said too quickly, but that was the only way Spencer was going to get through this. He just wished Morgan would agree instead of ask questions that, at the moment, he couldn't answer.

"Kid." He sighed.

"I'm serious Morgan. Will you come by my place tonight?" he voice slightly taking on the tone he used on the kids when they were misbehaving.

The tone confused Morgan and sensing that it was important he didn't argue, "Sure, is six ok?"

"Perfect. Hey, Morgan? Thanks." He finished before walking away so that Morgan couldn't reply.

By the time six came around Spencer hadn't stopped fidgeting for going on two hours; the only reason it wasn't more was because work and getting dinner made had provided temporary distractions.

So focused on his thoughts Spencer didn't even hear the knock on the door. It was only when Athena popped out of her hiding place did the sound register. Putting his finger to his lips to make sure she stayed quiet until the right time he walked to the door and opened it, cutting off the now near constant knocking. When the door was opened it looked like Morgan was about to break it down and Spencer wondered how long he had been knocking.

"Hey man, are you ok?" he asked as soon he walked through the door and it had closed behind him, his eyes scanning the apartment for any danger.

He wasn't using his usual nicknames so Spencer must have worried him earlier when he asked about coming over.

"Yeah. Do you want to sit or have something to drink?" Spencer asked ever so softly.

Morgan's worry was understandable. After all, in all the years they've known each other this was not something that they had ever done before. Team nights out were common, but Spencer was private and kept his two lives separate and despite the little moment where Spencer told Morgan a small piece of the golf-post incident, it was still out of character for him. So really, Spencer didn't blame him, he would be exactly the same if the roles were reversed. But still, Morgan worried made Spencer worried, even if it was directed at him in the first place, and it did nothing to calm his nerves. He didn't even know why he was so nervous, it wasn't as if he was in trouble or in danger, what he had to say was actually a really good thing.

But a little part of Spencer knew exactly why he was nervous. What if Morgan judged him? Told him he wasn't good enough? What if he took his kids away?

That last question he dismissed as soon as he thought it. Morgan would never do that…he hoped.

The one problem he had at the moment was that he'd kept this a secret for so long that he didn't know how not to avoid the subject. Instead of just outright saying he had two amazing kids and 6 cats (OK maybe he'd leave that part out), he was stalling; and Morgan knew it.

"Reid? What's going on?" he all but demanded, choosing to avoid Spencer's earlier question. Instead he was walking towards him, both agents still stood in the hallway of his apartment.

"Please, sit down." His voice once again taking on a tone Morgan was unfamiliar with. It was the voice he always used to try and get Athena to open up to him about whatever was bothering her at the time. As before, the sound confused the older agent but once again, instead of arguing, Morgan stayed quiet and sat down on the sofa in the living room.

Spencer sat opposite him and as he was about to open his mouth to explain Thomas began crying. Forgetting about Morgan, Spencer all but ran to his bedroom where Athena was also hiding along with the cats. When he opened the door he saw Athena trying to calm her little brother down. Immediately he picked up the child to find out what was wrong.

"Daddy?" Athena asked from beside him. Her voice caught his attention and he looked down to see her staring at the doorway. Spinning around, with Thomas still in his arms he took his daughter's hand.

"Reid, what's going on?" The question coming from the older agent standing in the open doorway.

"Well, I said that I'd like you to meet a couple of people. Here they are."

Morgan didn't need to ask out loud his question because Spencer could already see it on his face.

Looking Morgan dead in the eye he took a breath and answered his silent query, "They're my kids."

* * *

 **And there it is! I hope you enjoyed it :) We will be going back to the normal 2-week updates for the next few chapters unless said otherwise**

 **Don't forget to leave a review with any comments or suggestions.**

 **I'm also looking for names for the kittens so let me know if you have any ideas! =)**


	14. Chapter 14: Autumn - Winter 2008

**Hey guys! So, yeah this was supposed to be up on Friday but I forgot – my bad – and then I went to a wedding on Saturday and didn't get back until 1:30AM...:/**

 **But here we are, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 26 – 27  
Athena Reid – Age 10  
Thomas Reid – Age 3

Location – Colorado, Nevada, Washington D.C.

Admittedly, with his luck, he should have known that going undercover in a cult wasn't going to end well. But as usual, he didn't think about that and just got on with the job.

So when things went sideways he wasn't really surprised. What did surprise him was Emily saying that she was the FBI agent. It was Emily taking the beating that could have been him. It was incredibly brave of her to do and showed that she belonged in the FBI. But at the same time, he was annoyed. He could handle himself and didn't need her to protect him.

He wasn't a kid.

It was this thought that made him start planning a way to tell her that he was a father. Maybe if she saw that he could not only look after himself but two kids, she would stop treating him like a kid. At the same time he was also trying to come up with a way to get out of their current situation with as few causalities as possible.

In the end, with the help of the team, the two managed to escape. Unfortunately, they didn't manage to save everyone, but in this job you couldn't always do that. It was a difficult thing to deal with but they all had their ways. His was his children.

That night he managed to get Emily away from the rest of the team for a few moments. His plan was to tell her and walk away. Hopefully, when he was back to the others, she wouldn't ask questions and he could have a little more time to freak out before coming clean. But at the last moment he decided against it, he wasn't quite ready for her to know yet. The only reason he decided to tell her in the first place was because he thought that she was treating him like a child. Only now, in the aftermath, did he realise that she had protected him because he was a friend, and after Hankel she couldn't see him in pain again. He didn't want one of the most important things to him be revealed because he wanted to prove something when there was nothing to prove.

He wanted to do it because he was ready for them to know. After having that taken away from him twice and then feeling how amazing it was when he finally told Morgan, he wanted to do it right for the rest of the team.

* * *

Jordan was alright. As with any new team member, things were awkward at first, but Jordan was temporary, only here until JJ was back at work, and she knew that. You wouldn't think that it would make any difference, but it did. It made things easier and with all the things he was currently going through it was a blessing.

* * *

He hated his father. On some level he wanted him to be Riley's killer.

His father was the reason that he tried so hard to be a good dad to his kids. He never wanted them to go through what he did, never wanted them to go through the pain of a parent walking out with no reason and being left with so much responsibility.

He knew that he was overreacting, but there was always that concern that with his job they may end up, once again, with no family. It wasn't something he thought about often, but it did pop up from time to time. There was also his constant need to prove his father wrong, which was driving the whole thing into a much bigger issue that it should have been.

When the truth came out about what really happened he didn't know what to feel. On the one hand, his father was innocent, but on the other hand, he had spent so long being angry at him that he didn't know how not to be.

Despite the hatred towards him Spencer didn't want to completely cut William out of his life once the case was over. He was just going to have to be very selective about what he told him. For instance, he was never going to mention the fact that his father had grandchildren or else he would have to suffer a lecture about responsibility which would end up in a fight about how he didn't have the authority to say that.

Despite the case not having a particularly happy ending there was a happy beginning back home.

Holding Henry made him completely nervous. The youngest child he had ever held was Athena and she was one, a much different age than the newborn child he was staring at. But as he found out, there was no need to worry. Looking down at his godson, the 4th child of the BAU, he was reminded of his own kids and that amazing feeling of being a parent. He couldn't be happier for JJ and Will.

* * *

He actually let Athena pick what he studied next. All three members of the Reid family were sat in front of the TV watching a film when the decision was made.

Thomas was sat on the floor playing with Pudding and Toffee and the new additions, Peanut, Cocoa, Waffle and Honey were watching them from across the room. Athena was sat next to him on the sofa, looking over his shoulder.

"Daddy, what's that?"

"It's a list of subjects that I'm thinking about studying next."

"Oh." She wasn't a big fan of school and every time he mentioned anything to do with it she got a sour look on her face which is why when she spoke next he was momentarily confused.

"Can I help?"

Agreeing to her question her let her have a better look at the list, after a couple of minutes she pointed to one of them, declared "I like that one!" and ran off to join her brother chasing the cats.

Philosophy wasn't his first choice, it was only on the list because Melissa had suggested it, but as he got more into the subject he found he liked the idea of there being no right or wrong answers.

Athena, of course, was just happy she got to help in 'Daddy's important school work' and for weeks would tell anyone that would listen exactly that. This eventually led to some very interesting conversations with not only some of her teachers but also the parents of the kids she had told. It also had the unexpected outcome of Athena trying harder in school. Up until that point she was doing well, but a few of her teachers had commented that she wasn't putting her full effort and concentration into what she was doing. Now though, she had made a significant improvement and was one of the best in the class.

* * *

Austin was nice, smart, and actually liked Spencer for who he was. But she was young; the idea of getting into a relationship with a man who had two kids wasn't exactly what she wanted to do right now. Spencer couldn't blame her and it wasn't as if she hated kids and never wanted them; she just didn't want them right now. In private, he would admit that it hurt him to hear that from her. But going into this he knew it wasn't unexpected, people his age wanted to be free to do what they wanted and not be responsible for two other people at the same time.

He and Austin still spoke from time to time and she became a somewhat long-distance aunt to Athena and Thomas. Maybe, in a few years, when she was ready to settle down, they could try being a couple. But for now, they were just close friends.

He thought that the thing that was his curse was also his blessing; he was young. Right now, no one his age wanted to settle down, but he had time to find that someone who would love both him and his children.

* * *

 **And there we go. Next chapter will be the second half of the season.**

 **Also, thank you to Ahowell1993 for the name suggestions of the cats! They were so cute and fit perfectly! =)**

 **As always review, follow and fav see you next time.**


	15. Chapter 15: Spring - Summer 2009

**And here it is, I'm actually slightly surprised that I got this out when I did (even though it's late) – it's been a stupidly busy couple of weeks. Anyway, it's slightly short but enjoy! :)**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 27  
Athena Reid – Age 10 - 11  
Thomas Reid – Age 3 - 4

Location – Washington D.C.

He needed to say goodbye to his family. He knew this day would eventually come, he just didn't expect it to be so soon. He wished he had more time, he almost didn't want to say goodbye as that would make it more real, but he knew that he would never forgive himself (and some people may never forgive him) for dying and not saying goodbye to those he loved most.

He knew he couldn't call them though; it would only cause a panic and the idea was to keep the public from overreacting. That left only one option.

"Hey, Reid." Her voice was raw, like she had been crying. Spencer wanted to put a smile back on her face, he hated that he was the one that dulled Garcia's shine.

"Gee, wow, no, uh, no witty Garcia meeting for me?" He said, trying to cheer her up despite the circumstances. It didn't work.

"I can't be my sparkly self when you are where you are." She replied, ending in a whisper he almost missed. He couldn't help but think that everything was his fault. If he hadn't walked into the house then he wouldn't have to hear Garcia falling apart on the other side of the phone. He wouldn't have to say goodbye to his mother...or his kids.

Spencer hesitated a moment before asking his question.

"Garcia, do you think you can do something for me?"

"Anything." It was almost as if she thought that doing this one request would grant her a wish to make this all go away.

"I, uh, know I can't call my mom without, uh – without alerting everyone at her hospital."

"What do you need?"

"I, uh, I need you to record a message for her in case anything happens to me."

"Oh, nothing's going to happen to you. You're gonna brilliantly find out who did this and we're gonna treat this strain." Sometimes Garcia's optimism was infectious, and if he wasn't dying he might have found that funny. But for now, he only wanted to say his goodbyes before he lost his chance.

"I hope you're right, but if you're not, I just – I really want to make sure that she hears my voice."

Sensing a losing fight she agreed "Ok. Just, uh, give me a second. Are you ready?"

"Ready."

He took a breath and started his goodbye.

 _"Hi, mom. This is Spencer. I just, um, I just really want you to know that I love you and...I need you to know that I spend every day of my life proud to be your son."_

"...Reid."

"Garcia I need you to record another message." He got out before she could say anything more. He didn't have time to chat; he still had one more thing to do.

"...um, ok."

"It's...it's for my kids..."

"What?"

"Garcia, please." He begged.

"Ok...Ok. Go ahead."

 _"Hey pumpkins, it's, um, it's daddy. Um, something bad happened OK and I'm not going to be around anymore... I just want you to know that I love you two with all my heart. You are both everything to me and...I just love you OK, remember that? And please be good for whoever takes you in. Please. For me. Just, um, I love you and I'm so sorry."_

"Re-"

"I gotta go."

* * *

Emma and Melissa had taken a long, overdue holiday before the case and so when Spencer was released from the hospital and allowed to go back home he was on his own.

He wasn't alone for long though.

Normally, he managed to keep the team away for his flat. Too many kid's things to explain. Obviously, both Hotch and Morgan had been allowed around the house. Hotch had no reason to come around but he and Morgan had started a monthly movie night while the kids were at various clubs or at friends houses. Now though, Garcia knew, and given the situation, he found himself sat on the sofa as she came bustling through the door with her hands full of bags.

"I come bearing food!" she announced to no one in particular. Athena was stood near the open door looking extremely confused. She had heard about Garcia before, but hearing about someone and meeting that someone are two very different things. Even after shutting and locking the door she still stood by it, watching the woman in front of her juggle a dozen or so bags.

Knowing Garcia he didn't even want to know what she was doing or what she had in those bags but unfortunately that was exactly what was about to happen.

"Oh, and I bought stuff for the little Reid's as well. I mean I had to do some serious digging to find out everything I could about the little cuties – wait that sounds stalker-y...anyway I obviously had to find this stuff out because otherwise how would I know what to get them? Oh and we're going to have a serious talk mister about what we keep a secret and from whom that secret is being withheld." She finished with a huff, eyes now bouncing around the apartment.

During her little babble she didn't even notice that not only was Athena stood next to her helping her with the bags but she had been staring at Spencer and Thomas during the whole thing and not even noticing it.

Thomas, on the other hand, had woken up from his nap due to the knocking on the door and was now staring at the brightly coloured woman stood in the middle of the Reid household. Spencer, in a slight panic, kept a firm hold on a squirming Thomas and kept looking between Garcia and Athena, eyes widened at the sudden interruption to the otherwise quiet day.

* * *

 **So what do we think? I was thinking of writing what happened after this in next chapter, i just wanted to get something up for you guys though :)**


	16. Chapter 16: Autumn - Summer 20092010

**Hey guys! First of all, THANK YOU to everyone who has helped keep this story alive whether that's if you just read, you're a follower, you've given a fav or posted a review. Your continued support means the world to me so again, thank you. I also can't believe we are on chapter 16, It's a little bit insane.**

 **Next, some of you may have noticed that this chapter is up slightly early. With all the late postings recently I thought I would try to get one up a little earlier for you guys with an added bonus of a little more Garcia. :)**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 27 – 28  
Athena Reid – Age 11 – 12  
Thomas Reid – Age 4 – 5

Location – Washington, D.C., Alaska

The drugs were always on his mind. That need was always there, and he was always fighting it. As the saying goes, 'some days were worse than others' but he managed to keep it together, keep clean and keep his life from spiralling downwards. But now, the pain was the only thing he could think about. Non-narcotic meds weren't putting a dent in what he was feeling but he didn't dare ask for anything stronger.

Looking back, he didn't even think when he pushed the doctor away, didn't fully register the bullet in his leg until a few moments after the impact; couldn't focus on the consequences of such an injury when his mind was too busy worrying about everyone, and everything, else. Now, sat alone in a hospital bed, his mind had stopped worrying about everyone else and was now solely focused on the burning pain slowly spreading throughout his body. He desperately needed something to stop the pain and right now, he didn't care what it was.

"Daddy?" A quiet, but unmistakable voice called from the doorway.

Looking up, his saw Athena and Thomas shifting about nervously; Rossi and Garcia stood in the background, smiling at the scene in front of them. Seeing them made the pain temporarily disappear and he wondered if cuddles and kisses could replace the drugs.

"Come here." He whispered, loud enough to reach the two stood in the doorway.

As soon as he said those words Thomas came running to him, trying to jump up on the bed to hug him. Athena was a little more careful, walking slowly towards him, fists clenched ad she tried to hold in what she was feeling. Her face was red and there were tears still in her eyes. Putting a hand on her brother's shoulders she calmed his jumping before leaning down to whisper in his ear.

"Be careful." Her voice almost too quiet to hear but Tom got the message and his jumping turned into a leg tap instead.

Then, when he was calmer, she reached down and lifted him onto the bed so that they could both hug their father. Silent murmurs of "I love you" were the only things spoken between the three of them and it carried on that way until they had to leave for the night.

After he got released from the hospital Garcia all but moved in with him, she kept using the excuse that he needed help and she was the only one available to do it. He knew though that there was more to the reasoning, but he didn't bring it up and let her fuss over him and his kids.

"Oh they just keep on getting cuter!" was the first thing she said after she all but barged her way into his apartment, once again carrying far too many bags filled with who knows what. Said bags where then dumped by the door as she looked at the photos on the nearby wall, some of which were only taken a few weeks prior.

"Where are the little cuties then?" she asked to no one in particular and instead started looking around to see if she could spot the younger residents that were in the photos in front of her.

Looking around she finally noticed that Spencer was the one to open the door and her happy tone turned into a somewhat disguised angry one. "Wait. You shouldn't be up. You should be on bed rest mister!"

"Gar-" Apparently trying to speak at all was the wrong thing to do.

"-No! Bed. Now." She almost screamed, an almost 180 of her usual personality. Her voice taking on a tone rarely heard and one that even Hotch was afraid of. After everything that he had been through though, he honestly didn't blame her. Seeing the fear and tears in her eyes made him feel guilty for putting her through everything and he decided that, for once, he would accept the help. That doesn't mean he wasn't terrified of what she would do if he got her angry again.

Once back in bed he was already regretting accepting the help. Garcia felt it necessary to follow him and try to tuck him into bed. All the while, making sure he had everything he needed within reach which, for some reason that only Garcia knew, included a pink teddy dinosaur.

"There we go, all snuggly and warm."

"Thanks Garcia." He softly spoke, smiling slightly up at her.

"Oh don't mention it boy wonder. Now, where are those cutie pies? I have presents."

And that was the last thing he heard before she left to go kidnap his kids.

When she had her first encounter with 'Creepy Pete' it was after a week of her coming around to the apartment on a regular basis. After the encounter in the hallway, Spencer spent three hours trying to convince her not to run a background check on him. In the end, he didn't know why he even bothered as not two minutes after she left the room he could hear her frantically typing away on her laptop. No doubt already halfway into digging into his life. He didn't bother her though, he didn't have to be a genius to know that interrupting her would not end well for him.

Almost four hours later she still hadn't found anything suspicions and reluctantly decided to finally give up. Truth be told, Spencer wasn't surprised that the guy didn't have a dark past. The name was just a little joke created by a little kid. Never in the few times had Spencer interacted with the man did he ever get the indication that there was something wrong about him. Sure, that first time he met him he was on high alert and did admittedly get a bad feeling from him. But every time since then he hadn't felt any unease towards the man. He was just a little quiet, he kept to himself, and there was nothing wrong with that. Garcia though wasn't happy. To be honest she was overreacting slightly, trying to keep everyone around her safe; no matter what. He couldn't blame her really, not after all that had happened to the team. He just wished that she wouldn't keep holding on to things, from experience he knew that it wasn't healthy.

Another crazy thing to happen during his recovery was the revelation surrounding Ms. Logan (the woman who lived on his floor). As it turns out the woman who was dreadful with kids was actually pretty good with animals. In fact, she had raised dogs her entire life and a few years ago she actually started training guide dogs. As such, when she had to leave for a couple of days following a family emergency Spencer somehow ended up looking after the current dog she was training. Fortunately, it was only for a couple of days and whilst the kids and Garcia might have found it fun, the cats had a very different opinion.

Garcia even tried to convince Spencer to actually get a dog but after a firm 'No' she, fortunately, left it alone. He didn't mind, it gave him a little practice because he was sure the question would end up being asked by Athena, or, most likely, Tom, and they really didn't have time, or space, for more pets and especially not a dog. Maybe a fish. But he wasn't going to give them that idea.

As much as he loves Garcia, by the time January came around, he was slightly glad she let him have his apartment back after he could move around a bit more freely on his own. He will admit though, the apartment was slightly empty now that she was gone. Traces of her still lingered though. Mostly it was the toys and books she had gotten for the kids despite them, and him, repeatedly telling her she didn't need to buy things for them every time they saw her. She also still made Spencer and the kids batches of cookies for the week – it was one of the only things she did that they never complained about.

But for now, everything was back to normal.

* * *

"I'm not sleeping with Reid."

It shouldn't have hurt the way it did. He played it off with the others, most of them far too distracted to see he was pretending, but when he found himself alone in his room he found himself thinking about all the times as a child when he was bullied. Morgan didn't mean it, he would never say something like that outside of it being a joke. But at the moment his mind kept coming up with the similarities between Morgan and the boys who used to push him, shout at him, and make his life a living hell.

When a knock came on the door he managed to pull himself together long enough to wipe away the tears and look at least half presentable.

"Come in." He managed to shout to the person on the other side without his voice cracking painfully. Maybe he could just play it off as him being tired, probably not though.

"Reid?" Rossi asked as he poked his head around the door. Spencer sighed, there was no way he could hide from Rossi, the man was the best that there was. Not to mention all those fatherly instincts he had that he tried to deny.

Walking into the room and closing the door behind him, he sat at the small table in the room, making sure to face Reid.

After a painful few minutes, he finally spoke, "You ok kid? You know he didn't mean it?"

"Yeah, I do. It just...-" He paused, unable to say the words.

"-brings back bad memories" Rossi finished for him.

Instead of speaking Spencer looked to the ground and nodded his head.

Looking at the clock and working out what time it would be back home, he took a breath, grabbed his phone and turned to the door. "I'm going to go call Athena and Tom, they should still be up." He told Rossi who nodded and smiled.

As he was about to close the door behind him Rossi called out "Say goodnight from me!"

* * *

 **Well there we go, I hope you enjoyed it :) Let me know what you think and as always, I'll see you next time. :P**


	17. Chapter 17: Autumn - Spring 20102011

**And here we are, chapter 17 hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 28 – 29  
Athena Reid – Age 12  
Thomas Reid – Age 5 – 6

Location – Washington D.C., Montana, Louisiana

They took her away.

He didn't deal very well with people leaving – he blames his father for that – and he tended to do stupid things when it happens. Case and point, when his dad left he snuck into an illegal casino and got caught when he was sneaking back out. The only reason he lived was that he agreed to keep quiet if they gave him a job in the kitchen as a cleaner.

If he was honest with himself, he was angrier that JJ decided to keep the whole thing a secret until the very end instead of just telling them, rather than the transfer itself. If he knew what was going on he might have been able to do something. After all, the FBI wasn't the only agency he worked for. It was, however, the one that he worked full-time at, the others he was just a consultant. But after working for The Pentagon longer than the FBI, he had a fair amount of sway in what went on and could have pushed for the transfer to be stopped. But now it was too late and he wouldn't be able to do anything.

At least the transfer didn't fully take her away from the team, they still met when they were free and made sure to call one another at least once a week. JJ also kept sending them all photos of Henry by way of staying in contact.

It was the first day at work without her that made Spencer call Elle in his break. He had no doubt in his mind that if Elle had just disappeared without them staying in contact then JJ leaving would be a lot worse for him. At least this way he knew that he could make it work, that despite the distance they could still be friends.

* * *

When the pain first hit him he had just come back from dropping the kids off at school and he ended up collapsing against a wall in his apartment. His vision became blurry, swirls and spots dancing in front of his eyes and not leaving his field of vision, no matter where he looked or even if he closed his eyes. There was a blackness that was creeping up on him, his vision now going completely dark and his body suddenly not having the strength to hold him up. A high pitched screaming was rattling in his ears, making everything ten times worse.

Sliding down the wall Spencer ended up with his back pressed against it, knees pulled up and his head in his hands. Closing his eyes he tried to block out the light that was burning its way through his skull and focused on taking deep breaths before he passed out from lack of oxygen. The high pitched sound was unrelenting and he dug his fingers into his hair and head in response, hoping to somehow make the pain stop.

He must have been sat on the floor for at least an hour before his vision cleared up and the shaking in his limbs had stopped to allow him to stand up. Pain from being sat in the same spot on the hard floor made itself known, but it was nothing compared to what he felt before. Now that he was stood up Spencer felt the nausea creeping up on him and had to use the wall for support; the other, unoccupied, hand was gripping his shirt over his stomach in response to the sickening feeling there.

Slowly walking to the kitchen he spotted a now cold cup of coffee on the counter top and decided that instead of replacing it and going to work, he would call in sick and instead go and lie down for a while. Hopefully to sleep off whatever he had.

After making the call he grabbed a glass of water and placed a bin next to his bed, as he was doing so Spencer wondered if he caught the stomach bug that had been going around his daughter's school and as he drifted off to sleep he hoped that he wouldn't pass whatever he had onto his kids.

* * *

He was just doing his job, information flowing from his brain to his lips, just like always.

"Well, if the meeting started at 8, and this happened at 8:45, they were probably in the sharing portion of the meeting."

"So maybe they didn't come in here to kill." Hotch theorised from somewhere next to him.

"You know, what if they really are struggling with sobriety? If they're really working the program they could be working on the hardest steps."

Through his question and theory he didn't even realise that half of what he said wasn't just from reading like usual– it was from past experience, one that he didn't want to draw attention too.

"Which are?" His boss asked, interested in what Spencer was thinking.

"Acknowledge your shortcomings, accept responsibility and make amends." He listed almost automatically. "The trouble is, these unsubs already broke one of the most important steps." He added.

"What's that?"

"The 13th step: members aren't supposed to enter relationships with each other while trying to get sober." It was halfway through his last explanation that he realised what he had been saying. Panic causing him to trail off towards the end, making the words seemed strained.

He kept his eyes on the crime scene, didn't want to look up to chance seeing knowing looks on the rest of the team's faces. Didn't want to chance them asking questions that he knew he couldn't answer.

As soon as he could, he almost ran out of the room, thankfully no one stopped him, and from what he saw of the team only Hotch and Rossi seemed to have any indication about what was going on in his mind. He took a breath to calm himself; feeling better that it was the two members of the team he could trust the most that noticed his slip up.

Once again taking a breath he rejoined the others. They had a case to solve.

* * *

He was telling the truth about the piano. He had never played before but he had always wanted to. When he was a child he wanted to join the school piano club but his father never let him, and when his dad was out of the picture, they didn't have enough money. And so he let it go.

Connecting to Sammy didn't take much; he was a father after all. He also got his first taste of piano, without it he doubted whether they would have solved the case.

After the case was done he was on the phone to Athena and Tom when Rossi made a passing comment about the piano to him from his seat on the plane next to Spencer and the kids overheard.

"I want to learn to play."

"OK." He said without even hesitating. If they wanted to learn he wasn't going to stop them. And truth be told he wanted to learn with them. That's how he ended up walking home with a newly bought keyboard and the names of 4 piano instructors.

* * *

She's dead. Gone. Forever.

He was finally going to tell her, had the whole thing planned out. But now...

...she's gone.

It hurt. No one that close to him had ever died before and he didn't know how to handle it.

The headaches he had been having had slowly started to fade after his talk with Emily. But now, curled up on his bed with Athena and Tom cuddling with him the pain returned and was so much worse than before. He didn't cry – not at home. He wanted to look strong, but when he found his way to JJ's house, he didn't have anyone to be strong for and broke down as soon as the door was closed behind him.

As the days passed the pain kept on getting worse, but somehow, at the same time, he was completely numb. He was constantly forgetting that the desk in front of him was unoccupied and the silence made the time drag on. At home he tried to keep it together, Tom seemed to buy the act but as usual, Athena noticed straight away. She tried to help him as much as possible, doing odd jobs here and there, taking on more responsibility, and he knew at the moment that he would, eventually, be ok.


	18. Chapter 18: Summer 2011

**I'm here, on time, with the next chapter! :P**

 **Honestly, I don't know how I managed this, between helping people with sign language exams and Christmas meals and other various things I genuinely thought that I wouldn't be able to get this up...**

 **But here it is so I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 29  
Athena Reid – Age 12 – 13  
Thomas Reid – Age 6

Location – Washington, D.C.

After Emily's death, the team had been given time off to grieve. At first, Spencer didn't want it. At least at work he could pretend that everything was ok, at home all you did was sit around and think about the very thing you didn't want to think about over and over again. It was Athena's upcoming 13th birthday that made him take the time off. He wanted it to be perfect for her, in previous years he never knew if he was going to be home and so nothing major was ever planned. This year he wanted it to be different, he made sure that he could get the week off and had planned a trip to Disney World.

Unfortunately, the distraction of planning Athena's birthday surprise didn't take up as much of his time as he had hoped. For long stretches of time he found himself replaying the last case over and over again, and when he slept it was even worse. He had started purposely pushing himself too far, not sleeping when he should have been and instead he would work until he passed out into a dreamless sleep.

It was the morning after one of these events that Spencer found himself woken up at 8 AM by the ringing of his phone. After having forgotten to close the curtains the night before, sunlight streamed into his room both temporarily blinding him and making it easier to see where the ringing phone was located.

Before he could even say his usual 'Doctor Reid' a female voice came through the speaker.

"I need help." It took a moment for him to place the voice, sleep still having a grasp on him, but when he did he was instantly concerned.

The voice belonged to Ms. Jenna Smart, Tom's social worker from his adoption.

"Erm...I'm sorry?" Spencer replied, not quite keeping his voice as calm as he would like.

"Listen, this is going to sound weird and I know I'm asking for a lot but please hear me out." She sounded almost hysterical, on the verge of tears and as he opened his mouth to reply she was already telling him why she called.

"OK so there is this child, Daniel, who I'm in the middle of getting adopted but the group home which he's currently staying at is under investigation. For what, I don't know, but it looks really bad. All the kids have to be taken out of the house and temporarily fostered and all of them have, except Daniel. The prospective adoptive parents are currently out of the country and can't look after him and there's nowhere else for him to go." Barely breathing throughout the whole explanation Spencer wasn't surprised that she sounded like she had just ran down three flights of stairs once she finished speaking

"So you want me to take him in." He stated, not even bothering saying it as a question.

"Please, it will only be for a couple of days, a week at most, just until the couple comes back to the US and the adoption gets finalised. I already have someone willing to push it through so it won't take forever." Jenna was begging now, obviously desperate.

As she continued to catch her breath Spencer thought over what she was asking. Long after the heavy breathing stopped Spencer told her his response.

"Well...I do have some time off."

There was a sigh and a little laugh from the other side of the call.

"Thank you. I promise to make this up to you."

* * *

A week after Daniel arrived at the Reid house; it was time for him to leave. Jenna was going to pick him up personally, but when he went to open the door he knew something wasn't right.

Looking behind him to see the kids occupied he lowered his voice and questioned the woman in the doorway. "What's wrong?"

For a moment she hesitated. "I can't –"

"– The adoption fell through didn't it?"

Spencer could see the moment she gave up, she closed her eyes and bought a hand up to her face to rub away the tension.

"Yeah." – she sighed – " They somehow found out what the group home was being investigated for. They pulled out of the adoption saying that they _'didn't have the necessary resources to care for a child who could have been permanently psychologically damaged by such an incident'_." – the sarcasm burning through her words was clear to hear but it was soon replaced by anger – "Which is the coward's way of saying they didn't want a child to look after that wasn't perfect. No new families have come forward so he's going back into a group home."

Jenna was clearly upset but trying to hold it together. After having spent the last week with Daniel he couldn't understand how anyone would give up the chance to call him their son. He was sweet and kind and had gotten along with Athena and Thomas so easily that Spencer entertained the idea that they had somehow been friends for years.

Inviting Jenna in, he led her to the kitchen and offered her a coffee and time to get herself together. Taking a much-needed breather she excused herself to the bathroom, already knowing her way there from the last time she visited.

Stood alone in the kitchen, Spencer leaned against the counter and looked towards the 3 kids sat watching TV. Athena was in the middle with the two boys either side, a blanket was spread across them and they were all snacking on various foods whilst watching some film that was on.

As Spencer smiled and took out his phone to take a photo, a thought came to him.

 _Is there room for one more?_

* * *

He couldn't let go of Emily. She wasn't the first person he was close to die, but she was the person he remembered the most. And because of that, it hurt so much more.

He didn't want his kids to see him crying, he'd already put them through enough. It was especially a bad time now. He hadn't officially adopted Daniel yet but the paperwork would be going through by the end of the week. It was stressful for everyone involved and he didn't want to add to that with his own problems.

He visited her grave almost every week (case, school and everything else permitting) and sat a talked to her. Most of the time he talked about his kids, the odd occasion he spoke about his mother or his headaches; he never spoke about work. Work was the thing that killed her, it didn't seem right to bring it up. After he finished telling her everything he always found his way to JJ's house. At first it was only once in a while, but eventually it turned into a regular thing.

Emily's death also brought back an uncomfortable thought.

He was the weak link in the team.

He had always felt this way but had never let it bother him, what he lacked in the physical side of the job he made up for with his intelligence. Now though, they were a member down and old thoughts started to come back and haunt him.

So he trained, every day, and worked to improve his aim. Instead of failing his gun qualification he wanted to pass with flying colours.

It took a lot of work and he missed more team nights out that he usually did.

For the first week he was actually getting worse, it wasn't until his instructor made an offhand remark about weight distribution that he started looking at it a different way. He was a genius, with multiple degrees, instead of thinking about the training as a physical problem, – which he had never been good at – he thought of it as maths problem. An incredibly complex maths problem he would admit, but by thinking of it in this way his aim had started getting better and better.

Finally, after weeks of work, he was no longer the weakest link in the chain, he was an equal.

* * *

At first, he didn't even notice it. Spencer was too busy with everything else to notice one small problem.

The cravings.

He hadn't thought about Dilaudid in a long time. He still kept going to meetings when he could but he hadn't actually thought of using again recently, until now.

Spencer lost count of the number of times he wanted to use again, to have the pain go away – even if just for a moment. But things were different now. He had a support system and even more people were relying on him now. He had no doubt that Emma and Melissa wouldn't be nearly as supportive as they were before, and would make good on the threat to take his kids away the second they found out what he had done. He also didn't want to let anyone down, or himself for that matter. He wanted to prove that his addiction didn't define him.

It was difficult, but he made a promise to get himself through it.

* * *

 **Did you like it? Let me know what you think!**

 **I'll try to stick to the normal posting throughout the Christmas holiday but I don't know yet how that's going to work... :/**

 **Anyway, see you next chapter! :)**


	19. Chapter 19: Autumn - Summer 20112012

**Ok so I did a stupid thing; I'm actually back at home for Christmas and I've left my notes for this story back at Uni. It's not too big of a problem but please note that Daniel's age may or may not change in the foreseeable future... :/**

 **Also, a massive thank you to my supporters and new followers, here is the next chapter! :)**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 29 – 30  
Athena Reid – Age 13 – 14  
Thomas Reid – Age 6 – 7  
Daniel Reid – Age 3 – 4

Location – Washington, D.C.

She was alive.

He punched a wall.

For the first few days he didn't even know if it was real, he thought that he finally had a psychotic break and that the fear of inheriting his mother's schizophrenia was coming true. His best friend had been lying to him and his dead co-worker was suddenly alive, what else could explain that?

After he managed to convince himself it was real, the worry turned into anger. Spencer couldn't even count the number of times he almost turned back to the drugs to try and make the pain go away. For a split second, when he admitted the drugs to JJ, it felt good to hurt her with the truth.

Later, after the meltdown at his co-worker, Spencer could admit to himself that he overreacted slightly. Slightly being the keyword. He was so angry and had no way to vent; really, the shouting was bound to show up sometime. But still, for what JJ did, he was allowed to be angry.

He really didn't want to go to Rossi's for this cooking lesson. Not only was he practically forced to go, and would much rather be a home with his family, but he really didn't want to see the team. He needed time to pull himself together and soothe his frazzled nerves before facing them again.

Not to mention that he really didn't see why they were having a cooking lesson, the team may think he can't cook to save his life but when you have 3 kids you have to learn.

So no, he didn't want to go, but in the interest of not making things between them all worse, he went, and so what if he arrived a little late?

The whole thing ended up going a lot better than he thought it would. He knew that it was to try and mend the team dynamic – it didn't work though.

* * *

On the morning of his 30th birthday, Spencer was woken up, far too early in his opinion, by 3 kids jumping on him. Well, 2 kids jumping on him a one teenager gently sitting at the foot of the bed, carrying a cup of tea for herself (the one British thing about her to remain and one that she wouldn't let go of) and a cup of green tea for him; looking at the clock, for a moment he wished he hadn't cut back on coffee.

Accepting the tea with a smile Spencer sat up against the headboard.

"What are you three doing up this early?" He asked, knowing exactly why they were up yet still asking the question.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!"

And if that didn't put a smile on Spencer's face, then he had no idea what would.

Walking into work he felt happier than he had done in a while. He wasn't dreading the awkward meetings and actually looked forward to seeing his friends. Spencer should have realised that good things don't last.

He would be lying if he said it didn't hurt that they forgot about his birthday. All day he was expecting one of them to jump out and surprise him. It never happened.

Growing up he didn't celebrate that many birthdays. When his father was still living with them he was often busy with work, and his mum forgot most of the time. It was only when he adopted Athena, and gained more permanent friends, did the yearly tradition become a regular thing. It was because of this that if it had been any other birthday Spencer wouldn't have minded, they were extremely busy after all; but it was his 30th and if a 3-year-old who he'd known less than 6 months remembered, then why couldn't his team?

What made the missed day hurt even more, was that 2 weeks earlier the team had celebrated Emily's birthday with a huge party, on top of the welcome back party they had for her.

He was trying to get over the betrayal, but when things like this happened he wondered why he was even still working for the FBI.

Pretty soon though, a much bigger issue came along.

About a week after his birthday he was sat in his living room with Athena, Daniel and Thomas watching Halloween films when a knock came on the door. Athena, being the amazing daughter that she was, was the one to open the door, saving Spencer from trying to get out from under her brothers – one of which was close to falling asleep.

"Um..." she laughed nervously "...Dad?" she asks, still looking at whoever is at the door.

Untangling himself from the now asleep, newest member of the Reid family, Spencer joins her at the door; his confusion at her behaviour suddenly morphing into dread once he sees who is stood in the doorway.

"Emily?"

For a few moments, all he can do is stare. Athena, sensing the oncoming storm quickly moves from his side, going over to pick up her youngest brother and convincing the other that relocating to her room for their movie marathon was better than staying where they were.

"What are you doing here?" His voice is cold, uncaring and it throws Emily off for a second.

Focusing back on her original plan she answers his question. "Listen, I came to talk to you about what happened. I know what we did hurt –"

" – Did you not see how this would affect me‽" He hissed, trying not to be too loud but ultimately failing. The conversation was taking a very sharp turn and he was throwing everything at her to try and get her to leave. He didn't want her to find out this way.

"This was so much more than just me! I have 3 kids Emily, what you did affected them as well." There was no point in denying it, she had seen everything.

Shouting back in equal anger Emily countered his question. "Well then why didn't you just tell us?"

He paused and continued softly, anger absent from his next words and instead replaced with disappointment. "Because I didn't trust you; and you, and Jennifer...proved me right."

The anger immediately drained out of her, a long sigh accompanying it. Her next words were spoken so softly that he almost didn't hear them. "Reid. Spencer..."

He'd had enough. "Leave, forget what you saw here." His voice once again becoming cold, he just wanted her gone. He didn't want to have this conversation. Not now.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

As the door closed Spencer whispered to himself. "I know."

Unknown him, his whisper was loud enough for Emily to hear. The broken words made her promise herself that she would make it up to him, and she would keep his secret as long as he asked her to.

Three months later the team finally realised that they missed his birthday. Or rather, he basically fed the information to Emily and she put two and two together and told the team.

Over the last few months, she had been trying her best to make everything up to him and he was doing the same to her. The smile he had was genuine, despite the few issues left between them all and everything was almost back to normal.

Almost.

* * *

He didn't often go gambling but it wasn't something that he never did. After all (ignoring the fact he's from Vegas), not only does he support his mother (and Bennington wasn't cheap) but he also had himself, three kids and pets to look after, because of all of this, his FBI pay cheque wasn't enough. Odd jobs he picked up from other agencies often covered the expenses, but sometimes it still wasn't enough and a quick trip back to Vegas was necessary.

It was actually nice to go out and show off to the team that he wasn't the innocent kid they still thought he was. Of course, most of the team now knew about the 3 little ones waiting for him at home, but there was one team member who didn't. JJ.

Things had been better, almost everything had been forgiven between them. But, that trust he used to have with her might never be fully restored, and in order to know his biggest secret you had to have his complete and utter trust (or just be at the right place at the right time).

He will admit he felt a little bad about her being the only one in the dark but as Elle told him on their last phone call: It was his choice.

* * *

 **If you can't tell, the whole faking Emily's death and the way they treated Spencer annoyed me so much that there isn't enough swear words in the world to describe my feelings about the whole thing. I tried to keep my feelings to myself but I think I was less than successful...**

 **I was going to include Will and JJ's wedding in this, but then it got kinda long and I like the way I ended it soooo...next time.**

 **Don't forget to review and Happy Holidays to all my readers and I'll see you in the New Year! =)**


	20. Chapter 20: Autumn - Winter 2012

Spencer Reid – Age 30 – 31  
Athena Reid – Age 14  
Thomas Reid – Age 7  
Daniel Reid – Age 4

Location – Washington, D.C.

When Alex Blake joined the team Spencer can't say he was surprised. He was actually excited to have her on the team.

It sounded awful to admit it, but he was glad that there was someone who could keep up with him, or rather, his mind. The others tried, but he could see the blank stares when he rambled on. If he was honest, it made him feel worse than them just telling him to stop. He was used to it though, which is why, when someone like Blake came along, he was so enthusiastic.

After introductions, the first moment she could, she all but dragged him into an empty corridor.

She kept her voice quiet, but it wasn't quite a whisper. "How are Athena and Thomas?"

The question threw him and made him slightly nervous. Glancing around to make sure JJ wasn't about he answered her in an equally, if not more, quiet voice. "Um...They're fine. Settling in with their new little brother..." he trailed off, wondering how she would react. If it was anything like Hotch had done he would need to make a quick escape. He didn't have to worry though. Instead of judging, she smiled.

"What? No way! What's his name?" That's the thing that he loved about Blake, she didn't judge his decisions (well not unless he was being stupid) and was genuinely excited, and maybe a little proud, by the fact he was a father.

"Dan-" Before he could finish, JJ called them from a little way down the corridor.

"-Reid, Blake. We have a case." She said before glancing at them in slight confusion and walking away.

"Daniel." Spencer said, answering Blake's question. "His name's Daniel." He repeated, before following the path JJ took.

* * *

When the phone calls started he didn't think anything of it, she was helping him with a problem – that was it.

Until it wasn't.

Most people would say that they didn't know how it turned into something more, but Spencer did. He could pinpoint the exact moment that things changed between them, when their calls turned from fixing a problem into just talking about their day.

It was at that point that Spencer told her about his kids, and after that moment, they were always brought up in some way.

"How did Athena do on her school project?" She would ask.

"Is Daniel still ill?" The question laced with concern.

"Did Thomas enjoy the school trip?" Her voice filled with genuine interest.

Maeve hadn't even met them yet and she was already acting like a mother. To have her accept every part of his life like that made him care about her even more. It also felt good to so freely talk about his life, he'd never really had that before.

Even the kids loved and accepted her. They were always asking questions about her and when they could talk to her or if she could visit. He always told them 'soon' and smiled at how excited they got.

The moment she said she wanted to meet was a dream come true for him. All his life he had been the odd one out, destined to be alone. Not anymore. She was perfect to him, it didn't matter what she looked like, and it never would.

He wondered what their future would look like. Spencer had been meaning to look for a new apartment, the one they had wouldn't be big enough for all four of them much longer. Maybe, instead of looking for a place for the four of them, it would be five instead.

Even when things started to go wrong, Spencer still kept a hold of his imaginary future.

He should have known that nothing was ever that easy...

It didn't hurt. No, that's a lie. It hurt like hell. But it wasn't the hurt that kept him up at night. It wasn't the hurt that made his days feel like torture. It wasn't the thought of seeing her blood slowing spreading across the floor that made him wish it was all a dream.

It was the emptiness.

He was given time off work – he didn't want it. The kids went to stay with Emma and Melissa – he didn't want them to.

He was left on his own, with the only other residents being the cats.

And left on his own for too long, he started wondering what he could have done differently. Maybe if he had tried harder to get her to talk to the police she would still be here. Maybe if he had never met her she might still be alive. Maybe if he had just been better she would live.

When that became too frustrating he started replying every interaction with her over and over in his mind. Every phone call, every letter was recalled with complete accuracy. It didn't make him feel any better. It just made him feel numb.

Some days he was perfectly fine. Maeve's death temporarily lost from his mind and instead, it was clouded over by other important things. Only when he was alone did everything come rushing back. Only on the nights where he was the only one in the apartment did he cry himself to sleep, wondering what she would do and say if she was still alive.

Often he caught himself staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring, waiting to hear her voice and prove that life wasn't this unfair. He couldn't stop thinking about every little thing that she would miss. The kids growing up, going onto university, getting into a relationship and getting married were the first ones he came up with; but soon, smaller things were added to the list: Athena being top of her class, teeth growing in, Christmas, first big haircut, learning to drive, first car, new house and so many more.

All the while, one thought dominating over the rest –

He knew that she knew, but even so, he just wished he had told her that he loved her.


	21. Chapter 21: Winter - Summer 20122013

**Hey guys I'm back!... Sorry about that :/. I had tried to get this chapter up last week but then exams got in the way. On the plus side I have the next week off so even though this chapter is a week late (and a bit short), the next will be a week early. Yay.**

 **Also, a massive thank you to everyone who has supported this fic. Every fav, follow and review means the world to me, so again, thank you! :) =)**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 31  
Athena Reid – Age 14 – 15  
Thomas Reid – Age 7 – 8  
Daniel Reid – Age 4 – 5

Location – Washington, D.C., Los Angeles

Whoever said that pain fades was an idiot. Whoever said that time heals all wounds was an even greater idiot. As many people find out, time does not heal all wounds. The only thing that time does is make the memories fade, you can't feel like you're being torn apart if you don't remember why you felt that way in the first place and for that reason, a much better quote exists.

 _'It has been said, time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens.'_

Unfortunately for Spencer, he doesn't get the luxury of forgetting, doesn't have the scar tissue covering the wound. Instead, it's left open, raw and painful. Some people might say it's a blessing that you would never forget the happy memories, but for those like him, they know it's the complete opposite. Yes, he would never forget the happiness he had with her, but he will also never forget her death, never forget the moment the light left her eyes.

It's been months since she was taken from him, and honestly, it still feels like yesterday. Maybe, in part, that was JJ and Emily's fault.

Obviously they didn't mean it, hadn't made the connection. But when Emily died, it was the first time he had lost someone close to him. When he was younger, family members had, of course, died, but he didn't really know them and so it didn't affect him that much. To find out that Emily wasn't really dead after having grieved for her it made the idea of death impossible. Obviously, he knew that that wasn't right at all, but his heart rarely agreed with his mind. So when Maeve died it didn't even register with him that it could be anything other than a plan to fake her death. He never admitted it out loud, but because of that fact, that little bit of trust JJ and Emily had gained back was ripped away from them.

Everyone still seemed to be tiptoeing around him, worried that they would say the wrong thing. What they were expecting to happen he didn't know.

The only time that his life returned to normal was at home. He had known Emma and Melissa so long that they knew that being careful around him was not what he needed. They also helped him over his worry that his kids losing yet another parent would destroy them. It didn't. But that didn't stop him worrying; the only thing stopping him from going into a full-blown panic was Melissa's words.

"They'll be fine Spencer. They still have you."

He smiled at that and let the moment repeat itself in his mind whenever he was feeling overwhelmed by everything.

* * *

Falling asleep on the plane after a case wasn't unusual. The dream. That was unusual.

He was sat reading at a table. Books lined the walls all around him and if he looked up he could see the metal balcony railing of the floor above. It was just wide enough for two people, allowing access to more books rather than providing comfort for those who met there. The silence of the library was abruptly interrupted.

"May I take your order sir?"

Giving his order in confusion Spencer suddenly realised that it was a dream when a voice across from him spoke up.

Maeve.

It was nice. No. It was perfect, somewhat playfully arguing about if Sir Arthur Conan Doyle drank tea or coffee.

"You know there is such thing as too much logic." She was right, there was. But without her to love, there was only logic left. And logic told him that this wasn't real. Maybe that's why he questioned her when she asked to dance.

Her answer was perfect though. "I want to hold you once before I'm a ghost of a memory." Even logic couldn't argue against that.

Taking her hand, dancing with her, holding her tight... it was everything he wished he could have with her.

Maybe those wounds would close after all.

* * *

It was a parent's worst nightmare; not knowing where your kid was, and even worse, knowing that someone had taken them. Anything could happen to them and nothing you did could stop that. All you could do is sit and worry.

"Reid?"

He couldn't even imagine what the parents were thinking. What the friends and family of both the child and the nanny were currently going through.

"Reid?"

The only thing he had gone through even close to what was happening now was when Athena had wandered away during a trip to the zoo. Those 20 seconds were the longest of his life and when he finally found her he didn't let her go for hours. But this? This was so much worse.

"Reid?" Looking up his eyes catch Hotch's, he's stood on the other side of the room, watching him with concern. Obviously this wasn't the first time he had called Spencer's name.

"Sorry?" He questioned, hoping that he could just get away with being too focused on the case rather than being distracted by other things.

Hotch isn't a profiler for no reason though. "Are you alright?"

He didn't answer; Spencer just dipped his head, looked to the floor and was thankful that the rest of the team was out working on the case.

So focused on the floor he didn't notice Hotch move closer until his voice came from right next to him. "Listen, Reid. I know this past year hasn't been easy to you" – 'You're right, it's been hell' Spencer wanted to say– "And I know this case is getting to you." – He looked up at that –"Believe me. It's getting to me too and I'm sure JJ feels the same way. But we need you, those people need you-"

Whatever he was going to say next was interrupted by Morgan walking back into the room, not at all noticing he was walking in on something, he got the idea though, he needed to focus.

They had a case to solve.

* * *

Surprisingly, Strauss was actually a massive supporter to Spencer when it came to his kids. If it wasn't for her then he wouldn't have had Daniel in his life.

She also became some sort of weird, long distance aunt to the kids. Sending them little presents and cards on birthdays but never once meeting any of them. Spencer, to be honest, was a little confused by the whole thing, but he wasn't going to say anything about it.

When she was killed it hurt Rossi the most, everyone knew that they were in a relationship. Things like that were hard to keep a secret, but everyone respected their privacy and it was never mentioned. Her death left a lasting impression on the whole team though, as much as she was hated no one wanted her dead and in recent years every one of them had ended up having some sort of relationship with her.

It wasn't until after her funeral that Spencer had a thought that almost crippled him.

She supported Spencer, Athena, Thomas and Daniel. Would the person who replaced her do the same?


	22. Chapter 22: Autumn - Summer 20132014

**I told you I would have this done in a week! :)**

 **Anywho, again, thank you to all my supporters – you are the best.**

 **A part of this chapter ended up kinda summarising the whole family, like who their biological parents were and things, it also made me realised that I suck at explaining what people look like... so anyway, it fully answers the questions about who the kids are, who they were and things like that.**

 **Hope you enjoy! (btw I did cry whilst writing this so be warned :/)**

 **Also, if anything concerning the Day of the Dead is wrong please let me know. Thank you.**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 31 – 32  
Athena Reid – Age 15 - 16  
Thomas Reid – Age 8 – 9  
Daniel Reid – Age 5 – 6

Location – Washington, D.C.

No one knew what to think about Cruz. Well, no one but JJ. Spencer could see that she was keeping something hidden and had a horrible feeling that this was going to turn into another Emily, all he wanted was to be as far away as possible from it all when it eventually came out.

Reid kept waiting for Cruz to corner him, ask him to come to his office, talk about the fact he was a single father of three with a fairly dangerous job. But that never happened. It was confusing, Spencer had faced so much trying to get and keep his kids, maybe the universe was finally giving him a break.

* * *

The Day of the Dead: A Mexican, multiday holiday in which friends and family gather to remember the dead. Spencer himself had only ever experienced the holiday with Garcia once or twice. They always seemed to be on cases and never back in time, this year was one of the first where the whole team was present.

The photo of Maeve was the first he put down, joining the other photos from the rest of the team. He would never forget her, but this seemed to make the pain fade a little. Tesla was next, a brilliant mind often overlooked. He had more photos to show, but with JJ not knowing about his kids he didn't want to risk it.

Then JJ had to leave early, a problem with the babysitter. It was his chance and he was going to take it.

Taking the stack of photos out of his pocket he turned towards the photos already there. One by one he placed the six faces of the unknown, but no less forgotten, people next to those of Maeve and Tesla.

Staying for a minute he turned to leave but upon looking up, he found that the whole team was staring at him, wondering who the people where. He didn't have to explain, but he wanted to. Taking a breath and pointing to the first couple of photos he began explaining.

"Um, these are Cindy and Ryan West." – he smiled faintly and looked back at the happy couple, the photos were from their wedding day. Her, slightly darker, honey brown hair was down in waves and the sharp green eyes that both of them had just confirmed who their daughter was. – "They were Athena's biological parents, they died in a car crash when she was one."

He paused for a second and kept looking at the photos, they looked so happy and carefree. Cindy, even in heels, reaching up to loop her arms around her husband's neck, looking so in look it was almost sickening.

Trying to gather himself, Spencer was grateful that the team knew to be silent or he might not have the courage to finish what he started.

Pointing to the next photos, a woman with long, straight, black hair and blue eyes and a man with dark brown hair and eyes, he turned back to his team. "Specialist Brian Patterson and his wife, Natalie; Thomas's parents." – looking to the team they could see where this one was going, well, at least in part. – "Brian was killed overseas...and...Natalie crashed her car whilst she was drunk." He didn't need to say why, didn't need to say that she couldn't take being a single mother; they had all worked that out already. Thinking of how he found Thomas, alone, abandoned on that bench Spencer could feel the wetness building in his eyes. He wondered if it was Thomas's eyes that made Natalie do what she did, whilst his hair was black like hers, it was obvious he had his father's eyes, the deep brown (just a little bit darker than his own) matched almost perfectly with Brian's. She probably saw her husband every time she looked at her son.

The next, and last, two photos were the hardest to talk about, their story was something that he himself had only been told a few weeks ago.

"The last two are Daniel's parents. Uh, they were killed in front of Daniel when he was 2." He stopped, unsure if he should continue, the only noise around him was Garcia's gasp. He didn't know what the others were doing, his focus solely on the rug beneath him.

Garcia was the one to speak up. "What happened?" she asked, so quietly he wondered if she even meant to ask at all. Glancing up at the photos he saw his son, and to a degree, he saw himself. Out of all his kids, Daniel was the one who looked most like him; unsurprising, given that Daniel's parents looked like his own. Their mothers both had blonde hair and blue eyes, whilst their fathers had dark brown hair and brown eyes. Maybe that was why this was so hard to talk about, or maybe it was because of what happened, he didn't know.

"Helen and Mark Perry, both of them were doctors. The family were at the hospital after Daniel had fallen down the stairs, hit his head and broke his arm. They were just leaving after being discharged when four guys came in, three of them had guns. The fourth had been shot and needed a doctor. Helen, Mark, and 3 other staff tried everything they could but the wound was too bad. When they told the men that there was nothing they could do they were killed. The ten other adults and the four kids who were there found themselves in a hostage situation. Only five people, including Daniel, made it out alive." By the time he finished the whole team were visibly shaken. He, Garcia and Blake had tears running down their faces. The others had found a place to sit, their heads hanging down and, in some cases, eyes closed against the horror.

Not even bothering to wipe his face, Spencer cleared his throat and continued. "Daniel never remembered much about it, even straight after it happened. When he hit his head it caused a little bit of memory loss, the whole week was a blank. Part of me is glad that he doesn't remember it, the other part just wishes it never happened in the first place."

* * *

As it turns out, he was right about JJ keeping something from the team. It also ended up getting her kidnapped and almost killed.

It was nice to see Emily again though, and despite everything, he would never be angry enough to not help get JJ back.

He did wish though that life wasn't this unfair and once she was safe he, again, pushed back plans to tell her about his kids. She didn't need that right now, to know that he had been keeping this from her. He just needed to give it a little more time.

* * *

He had known that Alex was going to leave for a while, maybe even before she, herself, knew. Too many of his friends and team members had left for him to not be able to spot the signs. The thing that pushed her over the edge though was when he got shot. Again.

Compared to last time the pain wasn't even that bad, his knee had definitely hurt worse. This time, what was new was that someone tried to kill him in the hospital because they thought he could ID them.

If it wasn't for Garcia things might have ended up in a much worse state.

After the guy had been arrested he didn't even care about himself. Garcia had shot someone. Never in her life had she caused that much pain to someone and he feared that it might break her. At that moment there was nothing he could do. Morgan had taken her somewhere and he was left on his own.

After Blake dropped him off at home and left for the last time, Spencer decided that if he couldn't help her, he could help someone else.

He let the kids stay up, let them and 'Aunt Penelope' do pretty much whatever they wanted. He couldn't change the fact she had shot someone, but maybe he could make her forget – at least just for a little while.

Honestly, seeing her not smiling was one of the worst things the team could ever face. She was pure light and when that dimmed everyone felt it.

Standing in his kitchen, watching the four of them in some sort of pillow war, it seems as though the kids thought the same thing and they too were determined to get her to smile again.


	23. Chapter 23: Autumn - Summer 20142015

**Hey everyone! This one's gonna be a short one I'm afraid. Not only am I stupid busy right now but, honestly, nothing really happened in season 10 (unless I'm missing something major :/) Also I'm not feeling too well right now so there may be quite a few errors... Anyway, enjoy and the comments are always appreciated.**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 32 – 33  
Athena Reid – Age 16 – 17  
Thomas Reid – Age 9 – 10  
Daniel Reid – Age 6 – 7

Location – Washington, D.C.

After Alex left, Kate joined the BAU and the process of welcoming yet another person into their family began.

They were all so used to it now that there was hardly any disruption to the way the team worked. The only difference this time was that Kate was the mother of a teenager, and was able to put it with unsubs a lot better than some other people they had worked with. Hotch, and especially JJ loved this fact. Garcia even swore that the three of them had some parent club thing going on.

Another thing that the team had come to terms with was that everyone who joined the BAU seemed to have tragedy in their past. Kate was no different, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt when they learned what that tragedy was.

* * *

He was really going to regret telling Athena about the incident in Montana. In fact, no, he was already regretting it. Apparently, she had told all her friends about her dad: The Prince in Shinning Converse.

He only hoped Morgan never heard about it...

...or Garcia for that matter. Who knows what she would do if she found out.

Tom and Daniel had also picked up the name and loved telling anyone who would listen, the story of Cinderella, with him in it instead of Prince Charming. Spencer acted annoyed with the whole thing, but deep down he loved it.

What he loved more, was saying that if he was a prince then that made Athena a princess – and she hated it when he called her that.

* * *

The last thing Spencer expected was for Rossi to turn up at his apartment and confide in him about the discovery of his daughter (and her family). He had assumed that he would go to Hotch first; after all, they were closer than him and Spencer.

"But you're the one with a daughter." Was his reply when Spencer voiced his confusion, handing over a cup of coffee to the elder man who was sat in Spencer's living room.

And it was true. At the moment there were five BAU kids of the current team members (seven if you included the recent addition of Meg and Joy), with the only girl of the five being Athena. He was the best person on the team to talk to about this. He had no idea what to talk about though.

Apparently, Rossi did; as seconds after he sat down he was being questioned.

"Tell me what it was like when you first adopted her."

There was no fooling Spencer, he knew what Rossi was really asking: ' _Tell me what I missed'_.

He was hesitant to make things worse but Spencer told him anyway. He told him how, at first, he was terrified of doing something wrong. He told him how helpless he felt when she cried and he didn't know why. He even told him how painful it was for him to leave her in someone else's care whilst he had things to do.

"But even then, the good moments far outweigh the bad. All the smiles and giggles, watching her grow, seeing how good of a big sister she is. And there are just so many more."

By the time he was finished he was trying not to cry and Rossi, even though he would never admit it, was trying to do the same.

Long moments were taken before Rossi spoke again.

"Do you regret any of it?"

Spencer looked up from his coffee and held Rossi's questioning stare. He answered in a voice with a strength few saw.

"Never."

* * *

Over the years he had lost contact with Gideon. He still blamed him for leaving like his father. When the team found out that he had been killed though, even blame couldn't stop him caring. Couldn't stop him thinking how unfair it was that yet another person in his life had left him – this time for good.

It was slightly selfish to think that. After all, other people were in pain too. But he needed a moment to himself before he could accept that fact.

Gideon was one of the first people who found out that he was a father and accepted that fact rather than tell him how he was _'ruining his life'_. Gideon, despite leaving, would always be something he was thankful to have met, to have worked with.

He just wished he had longer to tell him that.

* * *

Kate was slowing losing her calm. He really couldn't blame her. After all, Meg and her friend had been kidnapped. It was a wonder she hadn't completely snapped already.

It wasn't just Kate that was affected though. JJ, Hotch, Spencer himself, and Rossi (although he was good at hiding it), were all affected by the case more than usual. When it was kids it was worse for the whole team, but to the parents in the BAU it was hell.

It also made Spencer aware of the fact that he still hadn't told JJ about the kids.

When Meg and Markayla were, thankfully, home safe Spencer gave himself a moment to breathe. He couldn't help but wonder what he would have done if it had been Athena.

It wasn't an uncommon thought. When she had first started going out with friends he spent hours going over all the bad things that could happen to her. As time went on he stopped worrying as much, but always made her text him every once in a while so he knew that she was safe.

Thinking back to Meg he tried to figure out what made her ignore Kate in the way she did. Kate was a great mum, and a baby on the way didn't change that. Whatever the reason, he hoped that the family could, once again, get along with one another.

As usual, Spencer wasn't surprised when Kate left. It had reached a point where there may never be another, permanent, team member. But in a way he was thankful, it meant that the BAU family was ever growing and people who had suffered tragedy could find comfort in one another. He knew he had.


	24. Chapter 24: Autumn - Summer 20152016

**I'm back! And here I am, 2 weeks later –still stupid busy, (if you spot anything to do with hominins let me know) Turns out I did actually miss something last chapter from the season...(thank you to who pointed it out, I'm gonna do something to fix that, I'm just not sure what yet)**

 **Anyway, I'm sad but strangely happy to say that this fic only has a few more chapters left, but for now, enjoy chapter 24**

 **Oh, and I have a question for you guys: Ralves or nah?**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 33 – 34  
Athena Reid – Age 17 – 18  
Thomas Reid – Age 10 – 11  
Daniel Reid – Age 7 – 8

Location – Washington, D.C.

Fish were not his idea, they already had more pets than a pet shop and now the kids wanted fish? Well, Thomas wanted fish, Athena and Daniel didn't really care.

Correction, Athena didn't care and Daniel was far too occupied with the cats.

But now Spencer guessed he had to thank Tom for wanting fish, after all, it did help with a case – as weirdly as that sounds.

By the time he made it home, it was already way past even Athena's bedtime and Spencer gladly went straight to bed, hoping to get a decent night's sleep for the first time in over a week.

Only a few hours later Spencer woke to light coming in through the open curtains he forgot to close earlier. Glancing at the clock he decided that 7:32 on a Saturday morning was far too early to get up and start the day. Turning so his back was towards the window he started to drift off but not 2 minutes later his phone rang.

Eyes closed and still lying in bed he searched for his phone on the nightstand, silently praying that it wasn't another case. Finally grabbing his phone he didn't even look at the caller ID before answering it.

"Dr Reid." He all but mumbled only to be assaulted by a far too enthusiastic voice on the other end which wasn't Garcia's.

"Hi, my names Jeremy Matthews, sorry to have woke you, I work with Ms Smart, I was hoping to discuss something with you." That made him wake up and instantly worry about what was going on, last time someone had said something like to him he ended up adopting Daniel.

Before he jumped to conclusions though he took a breath to calm himself and asked what was going on. "It's fine, I was already awake. What can I help you with?"

Despite his efforts, it seemed as though he didn't quite keep the worry out of his voice. "I assure you, you're not in any trouble. I actually have a favour to ask of you."

* * *

As it turned out the favour was actually a really big and important thing. A couple of days ago, two boys, siblings aged six and three, had run away from home and so far no one had been able to find them. The police had been called in within a few hours of them going missing and the FBI was even starting to look into the case.

During a meeting, Ms Smart had mentioned to Mr Matthews that Spencer was FBI and had kids of his own. The favour was for help in trying to find the boys and of course Spencer agreed to help.

As Spencer was getting caught up, everyone was getting more and more desperate. They hadn't even been able to explain why the boys ran away in the first place and couldn't understand how two people so young could have just disappeared.

The answer to the first question wasn't expected by anyone.

"They were being abused."

It was silence in the room; everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at the young social worker who had gone with the police to talk to the parents. Without so much as a word the room broke out in noise again, this time even louder than before.

Spencer had a hunch that paid off two hours later. He found the boys hiding in a tree house that belonged to a friend's family. The family were currently on holiday and so no one had discovered the boys.

Climbing up the wooden steps he sent a prayer to whoever was listening that these kids would be ok. Reaching the top of the ladder he peered into the tree house, the sight breaking his heart. The two boys, wet and shivering from the rain were cuddled up to each other. It suddenly reminded him of Thomas, with that sudden thought he had to take a second to centre himself. As he reached out for the boys he promised himself that he would make sure they were ok.

* * *

Stood in the hallway Spencer felt slightly sick. So he may have done a stupid thing, but there was no going back now. All he could do was move forward, and to do that he needed help.

Walking forward to the door he knocked twice before entering, asking his question before he lost his nerve.

"Garcia, I need your help."

Only briefly glancing back she answered him "Of course and what can I do for you my little genius...no wait, would that be the kids; what about-"

"-Garcia."

"Sorry, continue oh smart one"

But he didn't, he paused, it was enough that Garcia picked it up, dropped what she was doing and turned to face him. Just as she opened her mouth to speak Spencer nervously blurted out his request.

"I was wondering if you could help me find a new house."

"Oh, of course boy wonder, I-"

"-with 5 bedrooms."

She didn't speak, just tilted her head towards him and raised an eyebrow.

Sighing and dropping down into a nearby chair he began explaining how, in the space of three months, he had gone from three kids and six cats to five kids, six cats and two fish.

* * *

He hated to admit it to himself but Cat got under his skin.

He was 100% sure that she knew about his kids – and that terrified him. The things that she could do with that information, it made him feel sick.

There was also a slightly smaller, darker part of him that understood where Cat was coming from. He wondered that if things had gone differently in her life, would he have met her and would their shared understanding led to more?

* * *

Morgan leaving wasn't that much of a surprise, after all, there's only so much one person can take before they have to step away and start to think about themselves and those around them. Not to mention he had a son now.

Just because it wasn't a surprise didn't mean he was ok with it though. Everyone seemed to leave him and on the inside, he was slowing breaking apart with no hope of fixing the cracks.

He had another godson though, and even more than that, Hank was the second child to be named after him and he was so honoured by that.

"I don't know how you do it." Morgan had said after giving him the news.

"Do what?" he asked through tears which he refused to acknowledge even though there was no way of ignoring them.

"Being a single father." He clarified "I mean both you and Hotch are single parents, I always knew it was difficult for you guys, but-" he trailed off, shaking his head trying to find the right words.

He didn't need to find them though, Spencer already knew what to say "-but now you're a father too and you realised just how difficult it is."

Morgan looked at him and smiled "Yeah and I only have one kid. I don't know how you do it, but whatever it is, keep doing it."

* * *

 **And there we go, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review to let me know what you think!**


	25. Chapter 25: Autumn - Summer 20162017

**I'm so sorry that this is late, there's a reason for that though (aside from major writers block and the Easter holiday...and 4 pieces of coursework (also this chapter is slightly more AU than the others so watch out))...**

 **Guys, this is it. After 25 chapters, over 70 reviews, 21+ favs, ~50 follows and over 10,000 views, this is it.**

 **When I started this story back in April 2017 I never thought that it would turn out to be this long, and I never thought I would have this many supporters. So a massive thank you to everyone who has read, fav'd, followed and reviewed – you are the reason that this story exists, you are the reason it has gone on this long.**

 **So again, thank you and please enjoy the last chapter. :)**

* * *

Spencer Reid – Age 34 – 35  
Athena Reid – Age 18 – 19  
Thomas Reid – Age 11 – 12  
Daniel Reid – Age 8 – 9  
Benjamin Reid – Age 8 – 9  
Samuel Reid – Age 6 – 7  
Kayla Reid – Age 2 – 3

Location – Washington, D.C.

Luke Alvez joining the team should have been just like all the other times they had a new member, but for some reason, it wasn't.

Despite Garcia's frosty reception of Luke, Spencer found that he was actually a really decent guy. So much so that when, 20 minutes after meeting him, Athena called to complain that the shop was out of half the groceries that they needed, he didn't move completely away and talk in private (aka in secret) like he usually did. Instead, he only turned away, his voice low enough that the surrounding people couldn't hear him but loud enough that Luke could. If Luke was on this team he didn't need to be told what was going on, he could easily work out just who Spencer was on the phone too.

But even though it was his decision to reveal this, and Luke was by far the easiest one to tell so far, he was still anxious. When the called ended with a "Don't forget to do your homework." Spencer shuffled the small distance back to Luke but refused to meet his gaze.

"So you have kids huh?" came his voice, traces of curiosity lacing the words.

"Yeah" he sighed, looking up and smiling before continuing, "Five actually, 1 girl, 4 boys."

"Wow, bills must be expensive." And like that all the tension drained out of him, the immediate acceptance being such a relief that Spencer laughed out his next words.

"You have no idea."

The joking atmosphere lasted only for a few seconds before Luke took on a slightly concerned and worried attitude, the kind that was so rarely directed at him and made him realise that he had made a good choice in trusting Luke.

"Does, you know, the rest of the team know? I don't wanna reveal it by accident if they don't know."

Looking around and seeing that they were still stood in the middle of the hallway Spencer pulled Luke to the side, out of the way. He kept his voice low, as to not attract attention.

"Most know, only JJ doesn't." A quick glance around showed the all clear. Looking back up, he saw the question in Luke's mind and answered before he could even ask it. "It's a long story."

* * *

If he was being honest with himself, this wasn't a good idea. He should have just left his mother where she was, where she could get the help she needed. But no, he took her out of the trial and brought her back home; well, he brought her back to D.C., he found an amazing nursing home just a short drive from his apartment. That way, if he had a little bit of time, she wasn't too far away and if the kids wanted to go see her on their own they could. Initially he wanted to take her in himself, but it was too risky and not fair to anyone – least of all the kids.

But, in the end, everyone was happy and that's all that he could ask for.

* * *

Saturday morning started off like every other Saturday that Spencer was home. Wake up at 6, get dressed and go food shopping before the kids woke up. This Saturday, however, was slightly different. Driving back from the store, Spencer was caught in traffic, the cause? Car accident. Even though he was down the street, he could see the flashing lights of the police and the ambulances and made a silent prayer that everyone was alright. He was tried, cold and wanted to get back home to make breakfast and so, as he drove by he didn't give the scene too much as his attention. He left his work -brain at work and trusted that the police had everything in hand.

By the time he got home, Athena and Thomas were already up, the former dressed and the latter still in PJs. Placing the shopping bags on the kitchen table, he started packing the unneeded things away and setting everything else on the kitchen counter, ready to be used. Like every quite Saturday, breakfast was whatever the kids wanted. Usually, especially on school days, it was just toast or cereal and Spencer was never really home enough on the weekends to do full cooked meals. So, in a way, it was a little treat for them.

The smell of cooking bacon woke the rest of the house and halfway through making the pancakes, all but Tom had found their way to the table.

Cooking the last plate of eggs, he was about to get Athena to go and get Tom when he walked through the doorway.

Sliding into his seat, he grabbed a fork full of bacon and started rambling "Did you see the car accident?"

Placing the eggs on the table, Spencer slid into his own seat before speaking "Yeah, I did on my way back. How do you know about it?"

"Someone from school saw the whole thing. Apparently there were three people in the car, only the kid survived though. I think her name was Kayla. Jimmy says that the police think it was a hit but the guys got the wrong car."

With that abrupt ending, Thomas started shovelling food into his mouth and the table took on the normal chatter.

It was only when he looked around for the salt that he saw that something was wrong. Athena had stopped eating, she was gripping her knife and fork so hard that he could see her hands shaking and the metal fork had started to slowly bend under the pressure. It took him far too many seconds to realise what, exactly, was wrong.

The car accident.

It was almost like history repeating itself.

* * *

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. The word repeating in his head over and over again. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why didn't he just listen to the doctors, why didn't he listen to Athena, why did he think that he could solve this?

Why did this have to happen?

What was he going to do?

What was going to happen to the kids?

How was he going to survive prison?

"Don't worry. Pretty much every member of the team stepped in to make sure that they weren't put with another family."

Pulling his gaze from the bland wall, Spencer turned to the brightly coloured woman behind the glass "What?"

"Well, I took Athena in. Rossi took Sammy and Ben. Emily's looking after Thomas. Daniel's living with Alvez and Tara took Kayla in." Garcia said, checking the names of her fingers and staring off into the distance "Which, by the way mister, you didn't tell us she was that cute!"

"I-, thank you." He breathed in a sigh of release.

"No problem sweet checks, you just keep strong. We're going to get you out and back home soon."

* * *

Being in prison made him think about a lot of things; it gave him an opportunity to step back, look at his actions and think about what he would do differently.

Over the years Spencer has made himself a lot of promises, but the one he made when he got arrested was the biggest. He promised himself that when he got out, and was proven innocent, he wouldn't take that for granted. He promised himself that as much as he loved his family at the BAU, his kids were more important and deserved more of his time. He promised himself that he would no longer risk his life. He promised himself that it was time to get on with his life.

Sat in that cell, staring at the concrete wall, Spencer Reid promised himself that when he got out he would leave the BAU and focus more on his family.

After he got released though, that promise flew from his mind. He was too focused on Cat, too wrapped up with what she had planned and he was drowning in anger because of it – he almost killed her.

The most painful thing was that she was right; he wanted to be the father of that child. He wanted more kids, he wanted a bigger family. It was something he had always wanted but never thought he could get – not after what happened to him and his parents.

When the case was solved and everything calmed down he thought back to his promise, about looking after his family; maybe even adding a few more additions.

After all, he was going to need help raising six kids.

* * *

 **Well, that's it guys! Again, thank you for sticking with me all this time and please let me know what you think of the ending; or anything else really :) :). Bye!**


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